


Kicked Puppy

by supermusingz



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark Past, Heavy Angst, M/M, kicked puppy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-08-19 04:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8190356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supermusingz/pseuds/supermusingz
Summary: Because there just wasn't enough Colin!angst out there, I decided to write my own.Colin has darkness in his past that he thought was behind him, but a stranger shows up and lives are threatened. Wayne gets nosy and pushes too much. Ryan has to learn to deal with his feelings for his best friend. Greg, Brad and Drew are sucked into the drama.  All set on a healthy back drop of booze and abuse.*un-beta'ed so constructive criticism is always welcome* :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for giving my little plot bunnies a chance! I've danced around with this idea for a while. I've taken some liberties about the cast and changed things to fit my little dream world a bit. It's angsty and dark and lots of Colin Whumpage (because there just wasn't enough). It's definitely a RyanColin story, but with a heavy side of nosy Wayne because I felt like he was a great outlet for backstory development. Enjoy!
> 
> Also still learning the HTML thing, so if the formatting is really weird, drop me a line. It's a struggle.

# Kicked Puppy

### Nose Work

###  When the UK Whose Line brought their final season to Hollywood, Wayne was ecstatic. _Star Struck_. He had watched the previous seasons of Whose Line, and specifically the power house that was Colin and Ryan for years and could not imagine living up to that. When filming started he was sort of an odd-man on set. He had never worked with any of these people before and always had a bit of anxiety in new social circles, but that manifested very differently than the stutter he was plagued with as a kid. Now it manifested in contagious, vivacious, lovable energy. Everyone was struck by it: if Wayne smiled, you smiled. If Wayne laughed, you laughed. If Wayne danced around like an idiot because the mood struck him, you would find yourself tapping your toes. He was an honest to goodness, bundle of joy to have on set. At least that’s what people always told him. There was one co-star in particular that always struck him as a little odd. He didn’t respond to Wayne’s infectiousness in the same way everyone else did. Colin.  
  
The filming was just wrapping up and all the studio was in a tizzy about what was going to happen next. Wayne at his point was just happy to be where he was and most of the people around him seemed to appreciate that carefree happiness. And with that happiness came lots of movement, bright and early as the rest of the crew was just beginning to pore in, Wayne practically pounced on him, “hey Colin!” It was in this moment of their relationship that Wayne learned about Colin’s very specific, ‘Ryan only’ space, “how’s it going, ready to get this thing wrapped up?” Wayne casually threw an arm around Colin’s shoulder as if he was going to walk with him onto the main stage.  
  
Colin on the other had briefly froze in place at the sudden contact, “uh yeah, I guess.” Wayne was too busy still talking to even realize how uncomfortable Colin looked. He sucked in a nervous breath and held it, shoulders were tense under the younger man’s arm and was forcing himself to keep walking with his costar.  
  
“It would be so cool if this came to the US. I mean, not to assume I’d still be on it, ya know, but what an opportunity.” Wayne was still going and suddenly swung around to face Colin head on, now gripping both of the Canadian’s shoulders in an intense grip. He looked like he was about to explode with excitement and Colin was doing his best not to wrench away from obvious unwanted contact. That’s when Ryan swept in and saved the day.  
  
“Hey!” Ryan snuck his arm around Colin’s shoulder in a friendly greeting, replacing Wayne’s grip, “don’t crowd the super star!” Ryan said it with a laugh and Wayne had a split second to notice the change in Colin’s demeanor. Colin practically collapsed at the sudden release of tension into the taller man’s arm. It was a brief moment and Wayne only noticed because he was watching for something. And then it was gone and Colin was back to his perfectly collected, comical, polite self and Wayne almost thought he imagined it, it happened so quickly.  
  
This is what Wayne dubbed at Colin’s “Ryan Space”. On stage, anything goes with Colin. The stage was his security blanket. A friendly clasp on the back, a hand shake, a kiss, a hug, even polite conversation between skits. Off stage Colin had a large neon glowing sign that read “Off Limits – Do Not Handle!” and then in tiny little letters scribbled underneath almost as an afterthought it said, “Notable Exception: Ryan Stiles”.  
  
For a while after that and just the general polite interest Colin seemed to pay him, Wayne was convinced that he hated him. Maybe he was a closet racist? Maybe he didn’t like people younger than him? Maybe he just thought Wayne was annoying? All of Wayne’s latent social anxiety reached top levels the more he analyzed his costar. Anxiety can be a real bitch.  
  
As Whose Line officially moved on as a spin off to be the “US version”, Wayne even began approaching his costars. It was the beginning of taping this first season of the now LA located stage when he brought it up to Greg and Brad.  
  
“Colin is literally like the nicest human being you will ever meet.” Brad claimed, “There is absolutely no way he doesn’t like you, he’s just shy.”  
  
“He’s like a kicked puppy,” Greg offered, “you just have to earn his puppy love.”  
  
“What the fuck does that even mean, man?”  
  
“Look, he’s just shy, just like you have your social anxiety issues, Colin does too, you just can’t push him too hard, he runs away faster than a … than a ….” Greg’s analogy died away because he couldn’t think of anything, “You just have to give him time.”  
  
So Wayne let it go. Sort of. He stopped hounding Colin down every time he saw him and instead greeted him with polite, “hello’s!” from afar. And suddenly four seasons of the show later, Wayne had forgotten how tense their relationship was (at least from his perspective) and they had fallen into a casual friendship routine.  
  
They were just about to start filming for season 3. It had become a tentative tradition to arrive in LA (for those traveling) a few days early to catch up. Get really drunk, play some warm up games, plan for the show (not in any particular order). Wayne took a cab from his usual hotel to the bar everyone was meeting up at. It was kind a hole in the wall and the crowds were easy to maneuver. They didn’t have to worry so much if someone recognized them there, it was LA after all. Running into celebrities is part of the charm.  
  
“Wayne!!” his name came from the chorus of Greg, Drew and Ryan who were sitting around a large table already sucking down beers like water. Wayne had some catching up to do it seemed.  
  
“What up, fellas,” he laughed and got sucked into their usual banter. They didn’t see each other much outside of shooting Whose Line, but when they were all together, not much changed. A few drinks later Wayne finally brought up their absent costar, “where’s Colin?”  
  
Ryan’s eyes flicked up at him almost as if he had forgotten Colin was absent, “flying in from Toronto, he should be here soon.” Wayne still wasn’t sure the nature of their relationship, but never pressed it. To each their own.  
  
The talk was comfortable and drinks kept coming. Another hour or so passed and Colin’s lack of appearance came up again, punctuated by the arrival of Brad.  
  
“Where the fuck is Colin?” Brad promptly chugged a beer. He was certainly the rowdiest of the drinkers.  
  
“Seriously, Ryan, where is he?” Greg pestered.  
  
“How would I know?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t you know?” Brad countered, “you two are literally two halves of a whole.”  
  
“That’s deep, man.”  
  
“Shut up, Drew.”  
  
“Shut up, Drew.” Drew mocked back and laughed.  
  
“Seriously, Ryan,” Wayne interjected, “I’m not totally convinced he’s not secretly adopted and you two are really twins separated at birth.”  
  
“Well, you found us out.” The soft Canadian voice could only belong to one person.  
  
“Colin!!” came the drunken chorus as everyone turned toward him. Wayne could practically see Colin wrap himself up in his stage persona. Like putting on a shroud of quiet confidence and general silliness. He wrapped his arms around Ryan’s midsection, which was comical because even with Ryan sitting on the bar stool, Colin could still comfortable rest his chin on Ryan’s shoulder, “two peas in a pod.” He squeezed Ryan tighter and didn’t release until Ryan feigned collapsing, gasping for breath on the table.  
  
The laughter subsided, Colin pulled a chair up, waving off Greg’s offer of a drink, “I’m knackered, probably won’t stay long.” There was another chorus of Boo’s followed by Ryan, “you are so cute when you let your Scottish out.”  
  
The look that flashed across Colin’s face no one seemed to catch, but Ryan and Wayne. He looked … pained. And then the look was gone and in perfect Colin fashion, he offered a small smile and changed the subject, “how long have you guys been here? It’s late.” He glanced down and Wayne swore he saw him take a shuddering breath. A calming breath. He must have felt Wayne’s drunk gaze staring at him because he glanced up and brown eyes locked. As shy as Colin proclaimed himself to be, his gaze always held a certain intensity and in this moment, a darkness, that didn’t fit Colin’s soft and warm exterior. Colin offered the softest of smiles and broke his gaze to turn once again towards Ryan. Wayne kept staring. Maybe it was the copious amounts of alcohol, or the subtle way everyone’s attention seemed to drift over Colin like he was a piece of furniture or the darkness in Colin’s eyes that made Wayne reach out to him.  
  
“Colin … hey man …” he started to say. Wayne wasn’t entirely sure what he intended on saying, but Colin seemed off and he felt like he had to say something or do something. The doing part is what seemed to get him into trouble. It was like a switch went off as soon as Wayne’s hand closed around Colin’s elbow. He meant to pull Colin away from the table maybe? Divert his attention someplace else, but Wayne was on his ass before even realized what happened.  
  
The almost empty bar fell silent and the inhabitants of their table turned towards the scene softly whispering variations of, “what the fuck?” Colin was standing over him. Eyes wide, breathing ragged, hands still up in a defensive position where they had shoved Wayne roughly away.  
  
“What the fuck, man?!” Wayne half yelled, half laughed trying to hide his embarrassment.  
  
Before Colin could speak, ever protective Ryan jumped in, grabbing Colin gently in the same way Wayne had just attempted to do, “what the fuck did you just do?” he practically spat down at Wayne.  
  
Before Wayne could even utter a protest of “he pushed me!” Colin jumped in, “oh shit,” he whispered harshly, “sorry, you just startled me.” He shoved Ryan off with an appreciative and knowing look and extended a hand to Wayne, “I’m tired, feeling a bit jumpy.” He laughed as Wayne got to his feet. Slowly. He could really feel the effects of the alcohol much more down on the floor. The idle chatter in the bar had resumed and suddenly Wayne falling on his ass was the funniest thing the Whose Line cast had seen.  
  
“Letting a little Canadian man push you around, huh, Wayne?”  
  
“Didn’t know you liked it like that.”  
  
“Get a room, you two!”  
  
Wayne grumbled at them a bit and Colin at least had the decency to look like he felt bed and upon closer inspection you could see the guilt all over his face, “don’t worry about it, Col.”  
  
Colin apologized again anyway.  
  
And then again.  
  
And again.  
  
And probably every 5 minutes until the bar finally started shutting down. So much for not staying long, but he never touched a drink.  
  
“Let me at least drive you back to the hotel. You are staying at the usual right?”  
  
Wayne was in no state to drive at this point so was really in no state to argue either. Goodbyes were had and Wayne made a mental note of the prolonged goodbye between Colin and Ryan, could they be anymore fucking obvious.  
  
The trio walked to the car, “you coming with us big boy?” Wayne waggled his eyebrows at Ryan, “sounds kinky.”  
  
Colin exchanged a look and Ryan shook his head firmly, “nah, see you guys tomorrow.” He turned and left, not saying another word.  
  
“Jeez, do you ever speak to each other using actual words?”  
  
That got a chuckle out of Colin as he unlocked the car door to his rental. Wayne would have collapsed immediately into the front seat, the alcohol hitting him harder now that movement was involved, “hold on a sec,” Colin squeezed past where Wayne was leaning on the car, practically holding his breath at their proximity, “just gotta move my bag.”  
  
Wayne stared at him as he moved a small duffle and briefcase into the back seat, “is that seriously all you brought?”  
  
Colin just shrugged, “I travel light.”  
  
As Wayne settled in and Colin moved to the driver’s side, he took a cursory glance at the items in the back seat, the briefcase looked odd on Colin. Too professional and messy, as if the contents had been shoved inside in a hurry. All he could see was a large business envelope with “AAC” scribbled in Colin’s messy script in the corner.  
  
“All set?” Colin smiled at Wayne.  
  
Wayne just nodded, getting comfortable for the 20 minute drive through late night LA traffic to their hotel, “I wasn’t going to hurt you, ya know.” Wayne’s not entirely sure why he said that.  
  
“Hm?” was the only reply he got.  
  
“You shoved me away like I grabbed you to hurt you.”  
  
Colin shrugged noncommittally, staring far too intensely at the road in front of him. Wayne could tell he was “pushing him” as Greg would describe it. He could practically see the fortifications going up, brick by brick, “it’s no big deal, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I’m just tired.” Now the sentry towers were being erected, archers lining up ready to fire at will.  
  
“Tired? Don’t you make this flight all the time?”  
  
“It’s been a busy few weeks.” The archers were notching their arrows.  
  
“I thought Ryan said you had a few weeks off from projects?”  
  
“I did.” Tension in the bow strings, tips of the arrows lit with fire and dipped in poison.  
  
“So why so busy?”  
  
Fire at will!! “Let’s just forget it, eh?” If those arrows were literal, Wayne would be a pin cushion. The intensity and almost desperate pleading almost made Wayne feel bad for pushing. Almost.  
  
The next fifteen minutes were filled with a stony silence, mostly because Wayne was half passed out, really feeling those last few shots from Brad. By the time they pulled into the hotel, his head was rolling to one side and he barely heard Colin say something about checking in. The door slamming shut jolted him awake long enough to see Colin walking away and then a blink later walking back towards the car.  
  
“Do you think you can walk?” The cool air form the open door roused him.  
  
“Huh, oh yeah, I’m fine.” Wayne laughed and moved to stand only to immediately stagger forward, eyes crossing. Reflexively, Colin stepped forward and caught Wayne right around the midsection. His other hand grabbing the car to steady them both.  
  
Wayne instantly giggled, “I’m in your Ryan-space!” He swung back down to sit back in the passenger seat.  
  
“What are you on about, Drunk-Boy? How much did you drink?”  
  
“Oh just a couple of beers … and those Irish car bombs … and something called an Alaskan oil spill…”  
  
“Jesus, Wayne…”  
  
“Nothing an elevator ride and good nights sleep can’t fix.” He laughed and attempted to lurch to his feet again. He made it to standing position on his own this time and he could feel Colin staring at him. Why wasn’t Colin laughing at him? He’d usually be cracking a joke or make a snide comment. This wouldn’t be the first time Colin had to play surrogate mother to their drunk asses. Instead Colin was watching him quietly, a gentle smile on his face.  
  
“Alright, let me walk you to your room.” Was all he said.  
  
\---  
  
And what a sight they would make. Colin had one arm around Wayne’s waste, the other juggling his bag and briefcase. Wayne was just talking. As Wayne does. So much so that he didn’t even realize they bypassed the elevators up to Wayne’s room.  
  
“Ha…. Ryan-Space…” Wayne said it as if he just remembered it was a thing.  
  
“What does that even mean?”  
  
“Just pretend this is a skit.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Man, Greg was right, you are like a kicked puppy.”  
  
“Excuse me?” He actually sounded offended, “you are way drunker than I thought. You sound insane.”  
  
“This is your Ryan only space.” _Shit, did I just say that out loud, again_ , “Off stage only Ryan is allowed this close to you.” _Wayne, stop talking_ , “so pretend this is just another skit, so you are more comfortable this close to me.” That’s when he should have stopped. A sober person wouldn’t have opened his mouth in the first place, but Wayne just kept going. Years of social anxiety and analyzing and speculating and agonizing over this weird friendship with his costar coming forth in an alcohol induced pile of word vomit. “Like, you don’t make sense man. On stage you’re like a rabid animal – no fucking boundaries and then off stage you’re like a kicked puppy with a big glowing neon sign that says, ‘OUT OF BOUNDS. EXCEPT RYAN’ he’s like your knight that protects that big ass wall you’ve built around yourself.” He could feel rather than see Colin almost miss a step because at this point Wayne’s eyes were closed and he was more talking out loud to himself than to Colin.  
  
“Wayne, I …”  
  
“Like dude, Hollywood, with Clive, ya know, when we first started taping, I thought you hated me. I could barely get you to talk to me. I even asked Greg ya know?”  
  
“And he told you I was like a kicked puppy?”  
  
“Yeah, but that was years ago, man, like with Clive.”  
  
“Why bring it up now?”  
  
“Because you never shoved me down until now!!”  
  
By then they had made it to Colin’s room and Wayne unceremoniously collapsed/Colin dumped him onto the single queen bed. Wayne didn’t move. He let his shoes hang off the edge, belly down, hugging a pillow.  
  
“I’m sorry you thought I hated you. I consider you a good friend. And boy are you an emotional drunk. I’m gonna never let you live this down.”  
  
“It’s cool, Col,” Wayne signed, already feeling the alcohol wash over him again, pulling him down into sleep, “you are like a kicked puppy, I get it now.”  
  
“I still don’t get it.”  
  
“It means somebody kicked you once and you still gotta learn that not everyone is out to kick you again.” Wayne was really proud of that profound piece of insight into the psyche of Colin Mochrie, and he really hoped he remembered it in the morning.


	2. Muzzled

  
With Wayne asleep on the bed, Colin suddenly found himself exhausted with nowhere to go. He sighed. He always knew that he and Wayne had subtly clashed over the last few years. He honestly thought it was one-sided – his inability to connect to people on a more real and personal level. He never really considered that Wayne would pick up on his stand offish vibe. Colin always thought he knew how to give just enough of himself away that no one thought to press for more, but apparently what he gave wasn’t good enough for Wayne because Wayne kept pressing. And he had a point. On stage, they talked, cracked jokes, sang 3-headed Broadway stars, whispered snide comments to each other when other people were on stage. Things that normal friends do. But … as soon as the show ended, Colin did have a tendency to withdraw into himself to recharge. He needed space after being on stage. He loved his job and making people happy and laugh, but human interactions were always so exhausting.  
  
Even the thought of all that Colin had to do in the next few weeks with filming had him ready to curl up for days and sleep. He knew he needed to. Sleep came scarcely in the last few weeks. He hadn’t technically lied to Ryan when he said he had a few weeks of no gigs, but he wasn’t entirely forthcoming with information either. He knew Ryan was worried. They had spent a wonderful few days together and then suddenly Colin bailed for seemingly no reason. So of course Ryan was worried. The phone calls and emails that hounded him over the next few weeks were evidence of that. If Colin was honest with himself he would admit that he just didn’t want to talk to Ryan. Or to anyone at all. After the weeks he had of raw emotion and exposure, he just wanted to close himself off from everything for a while. But he wasn’t being honest with himself (or anyone really) and instead decided that he was just tired.  
  
Colin huffed down into the arm chair across from the bed, still watching Wayne sleeping. It was probably safe to shut his eyes for a while. Wayne was pretty much passed out for at least a few hours. Besides it was just Wayne, a costar and trusted friend, right?  
Colin folded his hands over his stomach and stretched his long legs out in front of him. He let his eyes drift close, just for a bit, he thought as exhaustion finally overtook him.  
  
\------------ .  
Contrary to popular belief, Ryan and Colin were not attached at the hip. In fact, Ryan hadn’t seen or spoken to Colin in weeks. Colin had flown out to LA to spend a couple of days with him after finishing a project and then left to spend the rest of his three weeks off in Toronto … alone? Ryan felt a twinge of nausea and panic. Was Colin seeing someone? He couldn’t even in good conscious say ‘someone else’ because how could he? After years of blissful friendship, Colin suddenly and subtly began making his interest apparent. Ryan being Ryan, pretended not to notice.  
  
Eventually things … escalated … but they never really talking about it. Just enjoyed ‘it’ for whatever ‘it’ was. Maybe it was Ryan’s selfishness, maybe Colin … lost interest? The panic Ryan had been feeling over the past few weeks was almost overwhelming now that he was alone in his bedroom. You don’t realize how much you need someone until the thought of them gone consumes you. It took a lot of his will power not to pick up the phone and call him again.  
  
Ryan instead reflected on what happened in the bar. Colin had looked exhausted and skinny and despite his best effort of putting on his charms, he frankly looked miserable. What the fuck was he doing the last few weeks? Certainly ‘seeing’ someone else wouldn’t make him look so god awful unhappy. Then the thing with Wayne. Colin was the most nonviolent person one could meet. His reaction was instinctual, but what would set him on edge like that?  
  
Ryan rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window, eyes beginning to droop.  
  
This was infuriating. He worried for his best friend … his … what? Lover? But he yearned for him too. His touch and his caress and his gentle caring and giving nature. Ryan shook the thought from his head, he needed to focus on other things. Instead, Ryan allowed himself a cold shower and a couple of Advil to stave off his hangover. He crawled into bed and closed his eyes and imagined his Canadian friend was lying next to him.  
  
\-----------   
Colin woke up swinging. All he remembered of his dreams were the hands all over him, feet and belts and angry voices and eyes staring. It took him a minute to register that the voice yelling at him wasn’t angry, but concerned. The hands weren’t hurting him, but instead trying to hold him down. Once it clicked his eyes snapped open and he went suddenly still, holding his breath.  
  
“Jesus, Col, I was just trying to wake you up.” Wayne released his grip from Colin’s shoulders and stepped back to give him space.  
  
Colin exhaled sharply, swinging his legs forward underneath him, he leaned forward, gripping the arm rests, “shit …” was all he managed. His head was pounding and he distinctly felt like he was going to be sick. He squinted into the harsh sunlight pouring through the window, “what time is it?”  
  
“It’s almost ten, are you okay? You almost clocked me in the face. You looked really freaked out.”  
  
“What, ten, really?” Colin shook his head, trying to clear the spots dancing in front of his eyes. All he accomplished was making his head pound even harder.  
  
“You seriously look worse than I do and you weren’t the one pissed out drunk like a fool last night.”  
  
Colin took another deep breath and allowed himself to fall back into the chair, covering his face with his hands and groaning almost comically loud, “this has been the worse fucking weeks of my fucking year.” He just sat there breathing deeply trying to control his nausea, “god fucking damn it all.” He was immediately embarrassed at his unusual outburst of anger, so he just sat there with his hands covering his face willing Wayne to suddenly disappear from the room.  
  
A moment passed and he then felt a tentative hand on his knee, “hey man,” he looked at Wayne through his spread fingers, “it looks like we could both use a shower, some coffee and some greasy ass breakfast food.”  
  
Colin smiled appreciatively as he dropped his hands, “meet you in 30?”  
  
“Deal.”   
\------------   
Sure enough, 45 minutes passed and found the two of them sucking down coffee at a hole in the wall diner down the road. They sat in a companionable silence, leaving each other to their own private thoughts.  
  
“Look, Wayne,” Colin was surprisingly the first one to speak.  
  
Wayne didn’t say anything, giving his older friend the time and space he needed to collect his thoughts.  
  
“Sorry about last night …” he finally continued, “and this morning.” He shook his head to hide his soft blush, “it’s been a really tense couple of weeks and I’m feeling a bit spent. I know I’ve been a little …. Sensitive to certain things.”  
  
Wayne opened his mouth to speak, but the waiter chose that moment to bring them their order. They smiled politely, the waiter oblivious to his intrusion, and after a few more moments of polite mumbles they were once again alone.  
  
“I should be the one apologizing,” Wayne said in between bites, trying to keep things casual and light, “I was being an asshole. I know we’ve never been best friends, but I know you well enough to know that you are a private person. I was being nosy and invasive, I should have respected your space.”  
  
Colin actually looked relieved, “thanks,” Was all he said.  
  
They fell back into silence again, much less tense than what plagued them the day before.  
  
“So a busy few weeks?” Wayne could practically see Colin bite back his annoyance.  
  
“Yep."  
  
“Want to talk about it?”  
  
“Nope.” He said it with a laugh, but it was obvious he meant it.  
  
“Wow … that is probably the most honest you have ever been with me.”  
  
“What? No…”  
  
“What? Yes …” Wayne mocked, “normally you would have made a quip and changed the subject.”  
  
“You don’t know that…” Colin insisted, but then seemed to think better of it, “but you are probably right.”  
  
Wayne smiled triumphantly, “score 1 for Wayne,” he laughed.  
  
They talked amicably for a while after that – about the upcoming shoot, what the other guys were up to, past tapings. It wasn’t until the waiter had collected their food and poured them each another cup of coffee that Colin brought it up, “Look,” he rested his elbows on the table, his hands clenched together in front of him, “I want to clear this up. I want you to know that I’ve always valued you as a person and a good friend. I’m just shitty at communicating that and connecting with people.”  
  
“You connected just fine with Ryan.” Colin squinted his eyes at him, not entirely sure how to interpret that. He chose to ignore the more subtle implications.  
  
“Ask him about it sometime. It took a really long time and way more work than I’m worth. It’s just who I am, I’m a shitty friend.”  
  
“That is not true. Ask anyone, ‘Colin Mochrie is like the nicest person you will ever meet’ blah blah blah, it’s actually sickening how nice you can be.”  
  
Colin actually chuckled, “sure I’m nice, but that doesn’t mean I’m a good friend. I’m superficial. We know nothing about it each other, but we’ve worked together for years. How does that make me a good friend?”  
  
“Whatever dude, you’re full of shit. You don’t have to know each other’s life stories to be good friends. It’s give and take, but everyone has to have secretes.”  
  
“I don’t have secrets.”  
  
“Okay, secrets is a poor choice of words – stuff you don’t broadcast about yourself. Things you don’t readily disclose because it’s no one’s business. Everyone has that stuff and that’s okay. I think it’s great that you have Ryan to share that with. I just wish you I could be that privileged. I think your friendship is worth the work.”  
  
Colin made his standard shocked face. Eyes wide, mouth slightly opened. He blinked at Wayne a few times and Wayne could swear he saw his eyes go misty.  
  
Before things could get too emotional Wayne jumped in again, “Let’s play a game.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I used to play this on the second date of any girl I took out.”  
  
“I’m … flattered?”  
  
“Seriously, it goes like this. We start with something really simple and uninteresting. A fact about ourselves. We go back and forth and we always have to follow up with something more interesting or in depth than the person before us. The catch is we can’t ask follow up questions or elaborate on our statements.”  
  
“And this actually works on the women you date?”  
  
“Hey, it’s always gotten me to date three. It’s about showing the person you trust them by giving them a little bit of you.”  
  
“Huh.”  
  
“You can say no.”  
  
Colin looked like he might actually say no. He sighed deeply and squinted his eyes at Wayne, pursing his lips, “No. I mean yes, I should say yes so let’s do it. Go.”  
  
“Ha! Great. You can bail whenever you want. This’ll be fun. Okay. So…” Wayne was bouncing in his seat like a kid on ice cream. His leg vibrating with nervous energy, “okay so – my favorite color is blue.”  
  
“My favorite animal are sea turtles.”  
  
Wayne laughed, “my favorite subject in school was reading.”  
  
“I was the valedictorian of my high school class.”  
  
“Wait really?” Wayne broke his own rules.  
  
“Hey you said no follow ups or elaborations.” Colin feigned irritation.  
  
“Right, right sorry. Okay …” Wayne looked up at the ceiling, rubbing his palms together. He wanted to play this game to show Colin that he would share with him and could also be trusted for Colin to trust in him. But … he also wanted to see what he could learn about his costar, “I used to have a stutter.”  
  
  
Colin smiled, but made no comment, “I ….” He suddenly faltered. His confession dying on his lips. What he was going to say didn’t seem appropriate after Wayne’s heart felt confession. That’s a childhood trauma that one doesn’t readily share. Obviously Wayne grew out of it and worked through it somehow, but Colin weirdly felt compelled to share something as equally personal. “I used to have a fear of laughing.”  
  
“What?” Wayne broke his rules again, “That’s your job though.”  
  
“No, my job is to make other people laugh.” Colin shrugged, “I sort of grew out of it.”  
  
“That’s why you’re so good at keeping a straight face on stage, I knew there had to be something.” Wayne laughed and Colin was actually pleased. That confession is normally met with pity.  
  
“I guess so yeah.”  
  
“Okay sorry, I broke the rules again,” Wayne took another long draw of coffee, “My parents couldn’t raise me so I actually grew up with my grandmother. So I guess technically I'm adopted,” Wayne saw Colin visibly recoil at that statement and almost look of panic spread across his face. Colin looked like he suddenly regretted starting this whole thing.  
  
“Um …” his voice was tinged with discomfort, “I … um ….” Wayne just watched him, trying to keep his face neutral. He didn’t want to press Colin, “that was a really big leap.” Colin stalled, “um …” he laughed and scratched the back of his head nervously, “I speak French.” He finally offered.  
  
Wayne actually laughed out loud and threw his hands up, “really? All that and that’s what you offer me?”  
  
Colin shrugged sheepishly, “I didn’t know what else to say.” He chuckled along with Wayne, “we should really be heading into the studio.”  
  
They wrapped things up and hit the road.   
\-----------   
Ryan was pacing. Sitting. Then pacing again. He made endless laps from the stage to the dressing room to the green screen room to the open back stage area where everyone seemed to be congregating. Except Colin and Wayne.  
  
Colin ….  
  
Ryan slept terribly the night before, racked with guilt. Maybe if he hadn’t been such a coward about his feelings. Maybe if he had told Colin how much he meant to him … maybe Colin wouldn’t have …  
  
Ryan stopped mid-pace. Maybe Colin wouldn’t have what? Left him? Did he leave him? Ryan shook his head trying to shake the feeling of panic that was creeping into his mind. The rush of emotions he was suddenly feeling was cut off by Wayne’s loud, “Ryan!” Wayne looked surprisingly chipper considering how pissed drunk he was last night.  
  
Ryan smiled and waved instinctively as they walked toward each other, but his eye only stayed on Wayne a moment instead lingering over the tall Canadian that was trailing behind. Wayne feigned interest in something else and instead of stopping to talk to Ryan, he kept walking to the group of costars mingling in the green screen room.  
  
Colin also kept walking, but brushed his hand tentatively against Ryan’s arm, “walk with me?” he asked. Ryan didn’t say anything, but he could feel his throat tightening, suddenly finding it hard to focus on Colin’s face through the sudden mist that covered his eyes. He felt like he was walking to the gallows. That thought gave him pause. Since when was the thought of Colin leaving him comparable to death by hanging? When had he gotten himself in so deep?  
  
When they were alone in the hallway, headed towards the dressing rooms, Ryan suddenly found his voice.  
  
“Colin, I –.”  
  
“Look, Ryan..”  
  
They both looked away awkwardly.  
  
And when they made it to their shared dressing room they found they danced around each other, awkward ‘you go ahead’’s as they both tried to squeeze through the door. Ryan felt the panic creeping up again. Things were never awkward between them.  
  
Ryan hovered in the center of the room letting the dressing room door click closed behind him. He stared around the room, at anything that wasn’t Colin’s searching brown eyes.  
  
“Ryan, I’m so sorry,” was all Colin said before closing the distance between them and squeezing his way under Ryan’s arms to hug him around the waste.  
  
The relief of happiness that rushed through Ryan uncoiled the knot in his stomach and the grip around his throat, “Jesus, Colin…” was all he managed to mutter before he wrapped up Colin in his arms, letting his cheek rest against the side of Colin’s head. They just stood there enjoying the feel of the each other for a moment.  
  
“Ryan, I feel like such an ass.” Colin finally said disengaging.  
  
“You feel like an ass?” was what Ryan intended to say, “you look like shit,” was what actually came out of his mouth when he got a good look at Colin’s exhausted eyes.  
  
“Wow, thanks, buddy,” Colin managed to look and sound irritated, but the soft smile gave him away.  
  
“What’s been going on? You disappeared on me. I tried calling and then yesterday you acted like ... I thought it was something I did or someone … else… or..”  
  
“Someone else?” was all Colin said, but this time the annoyance was real and obvious, “what are we even? To accuse me of someone else.”  
  
Ryan could see where he was going, they had only broached this subject once and it didn’t end well, he would rather not broach it again, “that’s not what I meant!” Ryan could feel the distance growing between them even though they were still in arms reach.  
  
“Then what did you mean precisely? It sounded an awful lot like an accusation.”  
  
“It wasn’t meant to.” Ryan usually had the temper in the relationship, Colin’s anger always seemed to quell it, “I just thought – you left so suddenly – never called …” he trailed off realizing he was just digging himself a bigger hole, “I was worried about you.” He added lamely.  
  
He must have said something that appealed to Colin because he could practically see the anger drain from Colin’s face, “you’re right,” he sighed, rubbing his hands across his eyes, “I’m sorry, Ry.”  
  
“You don’t have to apologize.”  
  
Colin collapsed into the couch, pulling Ryan down next to him, “it’s been a shitty few weeks.”  
  
“Tell me.” He allowed Colin to rest his head on his shoulder. Ryan encircled him again trying to feed the feeling of love and protection through their contact.  
  
Colin sighed, “It’s Michael.”  
  
“Michael?”  
  
“My brother, he –,” he was abruptly cut off by a pound on the door.  
  
“Colin! Make up is ready for you!” it was Dan. Always business.  
  
Colin untangled himself from Ryan.  
  
“Colin, we should talk.”  
  
"I know, later,” Colin said with a tired smile, “I’d be happy just to forget about it, but you should know what’s going on.” Colin scrubbed his face with his hands, “And Wayne’s been a weird sort lately.”  
  
“Yeah, last night, I think, deserves some explanation.”  
  
Colin looked guilty and was about to speak when another knock on the door, “make up, Colin!”  
  
“Yes, Dad.” Colin shot back sarcastically.  
  
Ryan chuckled and grabbed Colin again, hugging the shorter man against him, back to chest. His mouth found Colin’s neck, a throaty growl escaping his lips, “I’ve missed you.”  
  
Colin leaned back into him, closing his eyes, allowing himself just a moment of total relaxation. He signed, enjoying his lovers lips against his skin and his arms around his hips,  
  
“Mm – God, Ryan, I’ve miss-.”  
  
“Colin!” Dan knocked and yelled again as he passed through the hallway.  
  
Colin growled and wrenched away causing Ryan to groan in frustration, “I need to go, Ry,” he walked to the door and smiled at Ryan, “Later, okay?”  
  
He was gone before Ryan could say another word.


	3. Bark

Later didn’t happen until after taping for the day was finished. If anyone noticed the way Ryan was obsessively tracking Colin’s every movement no one made comment. But in watching Colin, he found another pair of eyes analyzing them – Wayne. They locked eyes a few times and at one point during a break when Colin had slipped away, Wayne casually walked over.

“Hey, is he okay?”

Ryan shrugged, “no idea.”

“He told me this morning that he had a rough couple of weeks.”

“He did?” Ryan was surprised. Colin is a sweet friend, a great listener, but shit at sharing his own feelings. It took Ryan years to truly gain that confidence. He almost felt a pang of jealousy at Wayne’s seemingly new privilege.

“Yeah, but when I pressed for more, well ...”Wayne shrugged, “I guess you know Colin.”

Ryan did and could imagine him shutting down pretty fast at any signs of pressure.

Wayne and Ryan fell into silence as the crew began milling about, ready to start up again.

Taping continued uneventfully and Ryan found he could almost relax and pretend everything was perfect. Almost.

Colin was always quiet in between games. That was part of his charm because when he did open his mouth, something ridiculously hilarious would come out –or- if you were throwing jabs, something calculated and cutting would rip through you. The excitement was you just never knew what you were going to get.

But today was different. Colin was perfectly still and quiet. Hands clasped together neatly by his side, legs crossed, eyes locked straight forward watching the games with vague disinterest. He of course still performed wonderfully, perhaps not at top notch, but enough that no one seemed to notice.

As the day began to wrap up, Ryan could see Colin beginning to fade with exhaustion. All he wanted to do was wrap him up in his arms and chase away his nightmares. He was terribly dissatisfied to discover that as soon as the taping ended, Colin was the first to flee.

It seemed both Wayne and Ryan were searching for him because they kept crossing paths. And it was Greg who was finally able to point them in the right direction.

“Colin left.” Greg said, “In a bit of hurry. He got a call and took off.” Wayne and Ryan exchanged looks attempting to be subtle, bur Greg having no filter, interjected, “something you care to share with the rest of the class?” at that moment Brad walked up to join them.

“Ooo… we having a show and tell?” Brad quipped, rubbing his hands together greedily, “Where’s Colin?”

“More like lost and found, he left,” Greg repeated, “and these two guilty looking fiends were just about to tell us why.”

Ryan took the lead, “I have no idea.”

“Me either,” Wayne added.

Brad shrugged off, “whatever, drinks tomorrow then!” He waved and wandered away.

Greg on the other hand, was Colin’s second tear friend, as he called himself. He’s known him the longest next to Ryan, and the three of them always made an excellent trio overseas. Therefore he wasn’t as easy to dissuade, “spill it, Stiles.” He pointed an accusing finger at Ryan’s chest, “you are the only man I know that can get Colin talking and if he’s running from you somethings up.”

Ryan just stared at Greg silently and Wayne suddenly felt like he was intruding on some secret club meeting that he wasn’t privy too. He quietly shook his head and back away intending to leave the two of them to their concern in private. But as he was turning to go, Greg grabbed his arm, “you aren’t off the hook, Brady. I saw you two last night. You were all over him.”

Wayne instantly went on the defense, “I was drunk! And not like that!”

Greg laughed at his sudden discomfort and Ryan jumped in, “you better not be all over him like that.”

Wayne laughed, “Don’t worry, buddy, I won’t infringe on his Ryan-only space.”

“What?” Greg’s exclamation came out with a bark of laughter, “that’s fucking genius!”

Ryan looked less than impressed, “what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Wayne instantly backpedaled, “it’s nothing. Just something I joked about with Colin.”

“Oh?” Ryan stared him down, green eyes flashing with anger, “Care to share?”

Wayne offered an abbreviated version of what happened the night before, “like I said earlier,” he finished, “I pushed too hard and he shut down and bolted.”

Ryan exhaled sharply through his nose, grunting in frustration.

“I can’t believe you told him I said he was a kicked puppy.”

“I can’t believe you got him to play that game.” Ryan was actually impressed with Wayne. Colin had admitted to him only once in passing that Wayne’s over-exuberance and constant need to touch people always made him uncomfortable. So for him and Wayne to have such an intimate conversation both pleased and worried him, “you are lucky you got his flight response instead of his fight.”

Greg chuckled in approval, “oh yes,” he agreed, “angry Colin is scary Colin.”

“Colin gets angry?” for some reason Wayne just couldn’t imagine the sweet-tempered and shy man having an angry bone in his body.

“Well… I’m sure Ryan has seen it more,” Greg glanced over at the taller man, “but I have seen snippets of Colin’s version of a temper tantrum and it’s … unsettling…”

Wayne ‘hmphed’ in surprise, “so … are we gonna go look for him.”

“No.” Greg and Ryan responded in unison.

“You will soon learn –,” Ryan started.

“-New Colin Club initiate-.”

“That if Colin doesn’t want to be found.”

“-Which he doesn’t-.”

“The worst thing you can do is chase him down and corner him.”

“You know what cornered dogs do?” Greg slipped a seductive arm around Wayne’s shoulder, drawing him close, his voice dropping an octave lower, a slight wheeze in his breath.

“What?”

“They bite.” Greg snapped his teeth right in front of Wayne’s ear and Wayne yelped and jumped away.

Ryan just chuckled. There were now 3 official members of the ‘Colin Club’ as Greg called it. Colin was a private person and to be privy to club privileges simply meant he didn’t lie to your face, he just avoided you instead. And what Greg said was true. Colin, cool and calm on the surface, had a mighty temper that sneaked up on you like a bout of pneumonia. You don't realize how bad and dangerous it was until your lying in bed suffocating under the pressure.

In truth, Ryan was legitimately worried, and even though he casually laughed it off, he was going to break the first Colin Club rule that Wayne just learned. He was going to chase Colin down and corner him.

He departed, leaving Greg and Wayne to continue their conversation without him. He wasn’t entirely sure where he was going to look because honestly he didn’t even know where Colin was staying.

It turned out he didn’t have to look very hard. Once he had collected his things and made his way outside, it was dark. The parking lot was mostly empty, illuminated by just a few street lamps, casting shadows across the asphalt. He was almost to his car when he spotted the familiar silhouette leaning against the passenger door, the glowing embers of a lit cigarette illuminating dark eyes and pale skin. Ryan felt a familiar flutter of excitement ripple through him. Ryan felt a familiar flutter of excitement ripple through him. Colin had changed into dark jeans and his favorite black zip up hoodie, the one with the Canadian flag on the chest with his initials embroidered underneath. Ryan had gotten it for him two years ago for his birthday and he remembered exactly how it felt when he took it off of him too. Ryan shook his head to make himself focus and stop thinking about peeling clothes off of his lover.

“Colin?”

Colin looked up immediately and a smile graced his face, reaching all the way up to his eyes. Ryan’s heart fluttered even harder and he unconsciously smiled in return, “hey you,” Colin’s voice was husky as it usually was after smoking. He licked his lips as he distinguished the remnants of his cigarette on the ground. He tucked it in his pack of cigarettes and lit another one, he was never one to litter.

“You’re smoking?”

“Rough week.” Was all Colin said and took a long drag of his fresh cigarette. Ryan new better than to press for details. Colin only smoked a lot after a rough week. He would tell him when he was ready.

“Greg said you left.”

“I did, but I came back. Just had to take care of something.”

Ryan left the ambiguous statement alone, “want to grab a drink?”

Colin shrugged, “not really,” he chuckled, “I just want to sleep.”

Ryan did his best to hide his disappointment. Everything about this taping was unusual and he hoped that they could resume some semblance of normalcy by at least having a night cap together, “oh.” Was all he managed, “do you need a ride back to your hotel?” he asked only because he wanted to keep the conversation going.

Colin looked momentarily confused, “well, uh …” he shuffled his feet, closing his jacket around himself and crossing his arms close. Ryan knew this was his first defense mechanism when he was feeling uncertain and didn’t know what to do, “thought maybe we could go to your place?” he finally stuttered.

“Oh!” Ryan laughed in surprise, “that would be great!”

They didn’t speak on the drive there. Ryan could tell Colin was deep in thought, mulling over something. He was leaning against the door, his forehead pressed against the cool class of the window, eyes unfocused as LA traffic sped by them. He was perfectly still, arms crossed over his chest, his long legs stretched out in front of him. Ryan was practically grinding his teeth in frustration. He was not a terribly patient man and Colin was the most patient, stubborn man in the world. It took all of Ryan’s focus not to grill Colin on what had him so deep in thought.

He never got to ask.

When they made it upstairs to his living room and they shed their shoes, Ryan didn’t have time to formulate his first line of inquiry because he suddenly found his back against the wall, Colin’s arms around his shoulders, pressing into him, lips connecting roughly. Ryan forgot how much he loved that black sweatshirt Colin was wearing as he was pulling the zipper down and roughly pushing it off his shoulders. When Colin started pulling at his shirt and fiddling with Ryan’s belt buckle, Ryan broke away, “wait,” he spoke breathlessly, his body betraying what he wanted, “we should talk.”

Colin pressed his lips to Ryan’s neck, finding the spot right behind his ear that he melted into, “later,” he muttered through his gentle administrations, “please,” the need in his voice was enough to send Ryan over the edge. He grabbed Colin by the waist and ground his hips into his. Colin responded exactly the way he wanted him to because before long they were stumbling into Ryan’s bedroom, Colin pushing Ryan down onto the bed before climbing on top.

Ryan gave into him completely, allowing Colin the total control he needed. In public, Ryan was a dominating presence, his personality big and bright and everyone was drawn to him, but right now he was more than happy to allow Colin to take the lead. Ryan was surprised by his intensity and wondered briefly what function Ryan was serving at this point – a lover or just a release? The thought was quickly pushed from his mind when Colin found that spot behind his ear, teeth brushing just gently enough across the sensitive skin that sent Ryan into total oblivion and all doubts were completely forgotten.

\------

When Ryan awoke the next morning, he could immediately sense something was wrong. The usual warm presence that would be curled up under his arm was absent, the bed felt cold and empty. Ryan squelched the immediate sense of annoyance that crept into his head. Last time he and Colin spent a night together he woke up to an empty bed with no explanation. Instead of searching the house like he did before he got in the shower and got ready for the day at the studio. He was hoping he would find Colin in his kitchen, drinking coffee or making breakfast as he often would when they spent the night together, but the house was empty. No note, no signs that Colin had ever even been in the house.

Now Ryan felt his familiar temper flaring up. This was the second time Colin had fled with no explanation after spending a night together. He was feeling a little used. How fucking dare he? He wasn’t some random hook up he could walk out on the next day. Ryan threw the shoe he was attempting to lace up across the room. His temper was ignited and there was no cool, calm Colin to extinguish it. It took him another 5 minutes to get his shoes on, his hands were shaking with anger as he tied his laces.

By the time he got to the studio he was in full body rage. He kept replaying all the injustices of the weeks past amplified in his head until he was convinced Colin was using him and abusing him and didn’t deserve him anymore. He had the speech he was going to lay on Colin, calling the whole thing off, as soon as he saw him. He was so consumed with anger that he didn’t even notice Colin wasn’t there until Greg pointed it out.

“Lover’s quarrel?” Greg sat down in the chair next to Ryan, Colin’s chair, and leaned over towards Ryan. Ryan could see Wayne, Brad and Drew watching from afar. Apparently Greg was their liaison.

“What?” was all Ryan managed between clenched teeth.

“You better bring it down or Dan’s gonna be all over your ass.”

“Dan can go fuck himself.”

Greg sighed, “oookay, different approach. Where’s Colin?”

That stilled Ryan’s anger for just a moment. In truth he hadn’t thought about it or realized he hadn’t seen Colin since last night, “how the fuck would I know?” he managed.

“You two left together last night, Wayne and I saw you.”

“And your point?”

“Well … you two left in your car. You are here and he is not.” Greg laid on the condensation thick, “so …” he let the insinuation about their relationship hang in the air.

“I don’t fucking know, Greg.” He practically spat at him.

“Well whatever is going on, leave it off the fucking stage.” Greg stood, “and by the way,” he pointed off to the side and gave Ryan a knowing look before stalking away.

Ryan following his gesture and saw red the moment his eyes landed on Colin standing just off set talking to an irate looking Dan. If he wasn’t so pissed he would have felt bad for the ass chewing Colin was probably receiving for being late, but he was pissed so he deserved whatever he got. Colin, by the look of it had already been to make up and wardrobe. He must have said something to appease Dan because he flashed him a sweet, innocent smile and Dan clasped Colin on the back and actually smiled at him (because who can’t smile at Colin) and waved him off to his seat.

Colin’s eyes floated over Ryan for just a moment before he settled into his chair. His lack of conversation just sent Ryan spiraling down into more anger. They sat silently staring straight ahead. Colin looking cool, calm and composed. Ryan looking livid like he was ready to explode. Ryan was just about to turn to him and read him his rights when the producers came out. The next two hours, they ran through the camera checks. Getting the list of the games, running through their spots. Brad and Wayne sang a few songs. Greg jumped in as needed. They were filming two sets of episodes that day so it was going to be long and tiresome.

By the time the audience was allowed in to sit, Ryan was vibrating with anger. No one could really pinpoint his anger except that he and Colin weren’t speaking which was never a good indication of how the day was going to go. The beginning ran per usual, bantering, intros, the crowd cheering. Ryan managed to add his quips which probably came out with a bit more bite than usual, but no one made any comments.

When greatest hits was called for the first game, he just glared over at Colin. Colin dutifully nodded at Drew and waited for his cue to begin. The cue was given and Ryan immediately took note that Colin wasn’t taking the lead. He stepped in, “we interrupt your movie, ‘Men in Back,’ to bring you a special offer, Col?” he looked to Colin expectantly. Colin allowed the crowds laugh to subside, but when he didn’t pick up the dialogue, Ryan glanced at the camera with feigned nervousness and very real annoyance.

“I’m kind of tired, why don’t you take it?” Colin didn’t even glance at him, but Ryan could hear the truth in his dialogue. He, unfortunately, was not feeling sympathetic. He knew he should just roll with it as Colin expected him too, but he wasn’t having it.

Ryan pursed his lips together for a moment and awkwardly shuffled in his seat as if he was going to play it off. That elicited another laugh from the crowd as he cleared his throat as if he were going to continue, but his anger took over and the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, “well fuck you then, I will. We have many CD’s on this …”

Colin’s face remained completely expressionless and as soon as he heard the ‘hold please’ he was off his stool and headed back to his seat. Ryan’s anger was only ignited further by Colin’s lack of reaction. He ignored Dan who was walking toward him. He heard Drew make a quip and the audience members laughed, not even noticing Ryan’s anger. He turned to head back to his chair and when he caught Colin’s expression of disinterest he internally lost his cool and instead of taking his seat he just kept walking, leaving the set and not even looking back.

Colin could immediately feel everyone’s eyes on him expectantly. He sighed, massaging his temples and stood. Drew was engaging the audience and a quick thinking stage manager was feeding them bullshit about a microphone issue to cover Ryan’s quick exit. Colin glance at Dan, “give me 10 minutes.” And without waiting for a response took off jogging after Ryan.

He didn’t catch up with him until they were outside behind the studio. Ryan had already puffed down half a cigarette, pacing in a tight circle. When he saw Colin he practically sneered, but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, go, say what you have to say.” Colin crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, bracing himself for the impact of Ryan’s temper.

“Twice,” Ryan spat at him, “twice you’ve left me, walked out, no note, no phone call, no explanation.” His nostrils were flaring, cheeks red with anger, “what am I? Your cheap fling?”

“I don’t know, Ryan, what are we?”

That paused Ryan’s pacing, “what?” was all he sputtered out.

“You tell me what we are because I don’t fucking know. You get angry when I leave, accuse me of cheating. How can I leave you, how can I cheat when to my knowledge there is no relationship beyond sex and friendship?”

Ryan was going to interject, but Colin held up his hands in surrender, “you are my best friend, Ryan, and whatever this is between us, you need to decide because I’m tired of playing the guessing game. We either are something or we aren’t, you need to figure it out.” He paused for a moment, taking a steadying breath, “I’m sorry I left without saying anything. I’ve got shit going on that I’m trying to deal with and I want you to help me, but I don’t feel like I even have the right to ask right now.” Colin sighed and turned away, “now get your shit together and get back to work or Dan’s going to fucking kill us both.” Colin turned and walked back inside, letting the door slam with an uncomfortable finality, leaving Ryan in total silence.

It was exactly what Ryan had feared. Colin was tired of putting up with him… with his lack of commitment … with his fear of the truth. He shook his head, throwing his cigarette to the ground. He could already feel his anger fading away, slowly being replaced by the gnawing guilt that always followed.

He slinked back into the studio without a word and took his seat next to Colin who was engaged in polite conversation with Wayne. Colin smiled softly at him as he sat down and moments later the show was back up and running as if nothing had happened and the show carried on.


	4. Bite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to see some backstory in this chapter. Like I said at the beginning of the story, I take a lot of liberties which is what makes this story also AU. So just roll with it. :)

By the time filming had wrapped up for the day all Ryan could do was think about getting Colin alone. He needed to tell him everything, he needed to know. But Colin once again managed to evade him and for a fleeting moment, Ryan had the suspicion that he was avoiding a one on one confrontation with him on purpose. When he didn’t find him in his dressing room where he normally escapes he went prowling the halls. He followed the sound of laughter and found Colin tucked in Wayne’s dressing room with Greg, Brad and Drew.

“Are we going for drinks tonight?” Drew asked, “We only have half a day of shooting tomorrow afternoon, let’s go out!” It was a Saturday night so it didn’t take much convincing for them all to decide to meet at their usual hole in the wall bar. It was early enough in the evening that the crowds wouldn’t be too much of a problem.

\------

The bar was practically empty when they all arrived. Joe, the security guard, big and imposing, nodded at them as they entered. They found their usual spot, a large table tucked away in the corner by the doors to the kitchen, wedge between the wall of the bar and two half walls and allowed them privacy. The only access to the table was by scooting across the benches and going shoulder to shoulder with the person next to you. It certainly wasn't VIP, but it was secluded enough that no one really noticed them and allowed them a perfect vantage point of the rest of the bar. Colin stepped aside and allowed everyone to seat themselves before sliding in last, his back to the wall, facing the door so he could see everyone coming in. Ryan made note he was taking up his ‘quick escape’ vantage point. Wayne somehow ended up on Colin’s right, followed by Greg. Brad sat dead center. Ryan had the best spot. He could look straight across the table and see Colin perfectly. Their legs were long enough that they were forced to intertwine them.

Colin smiled at him when he felt Ryan’s foot brushing his calf, “wanna go get the first round?”

Ryan didn’t answer for a moment, then smiled and quipped, “I’m kind of tired why don’t you take it?”

Colin narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, “well fuck you then, I will.” They maintained perfect eye contact. Colin smirking triumphantly. It only took a moment of steady eye contact before Ryan lost composure and looked away. As soon as he cracked, Colin’s smirk turned into a toothy grin, “be right back, ya dick.” Colin slipped out of the booth and headed toward the bar to get the first round.

As soon as Colin was out of ear shot, Wayne broached the subject that everyone was curious about, “everything okay with you two?” was all he asked.

Ryan played ignorant, “yes? Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Cut the crap, Stiles,” Greg butted in, “I’ve seen hulk angry Ryan loads of times, you’ve got the temper of a drunk Irishman, but I’ve never seen it directed at our resident sweet Canadian.”

“It was nothing, we’re cool.”

Wayne was willing to drop it, but Greg was persistent, “bull shit.” Was all he said, but it was enough to rile Ryan up again.

“We’re just looking out for you guys,” Drew was always the peace keeper.

“Can’t have anything happen to the dynamic duo.” Brad added.

Ryan humphed, “Nothing is going on. It was just a misunderstanding.”

“I called him a wimp.” Colin’s soft voice always surprised them, “because he wouldn’t fly to Toronto to visit.” Everyone turned to Colin who was holding two buckets of beer. He placed them in the center and slide back into the booth next to Wayne.

“You still won’t fly?”

Ryan glowered, it was a touchy subject after all. Ryan gave Colin an appreciative look, but made no further comment - it was a good enough cover as any.

The night continued on and for a while Ryan forgot the heavy thoughts weighing on him. He kept glancing at Colin and felt a rush of warmth spread through him every time he saw that smile spread across his face. He even caught him covering his face with his hand which meant he was hiding laughter. He was beautiful. At one point Colin must have felt eyes on him because he looked up and their eyes locked. Something passed between them at that moment, Ryan couldn’t exactly say what, but he saw something in Colin’s brown eyes that he never noticed before, a warmth that spread all the way to Ryan’s toes.

Colin only broke their gaze when Wayne suddenly, in reaction to some antics that Drew and Brad were up to, threw an arm over Colin’s shoulders, tears running down in face in hysterical laughter. Ryan saw the surprise spread across his face at suddenly being essentially pinned forward. Colin just chuckled and patting Wayne on the arm affectionately. Ryan never let his eyes leave Colin who almost audibly chuckled at what has happening.

“Seriously,” Ryan tuned into the conversation, “my step mom was crazy. Crazy psycho bitch mom.” Brad was finishing a family related story, “like how my dad ended up with that crazy woman, I have no idea. My step sister was pretty cool though.”

“At least you have a sister, you know how hard it is to learn anything about women with two older brothers?” Drew took a deep swig of beer, finishing off his bottle, "I blame my parents for my perpetual state of bachelorhood."

“Youngest of 3, try youngest of 5 brothers.” Ryan challenged.

“Ahh … and here I am the allusive only child.” Greg waved his hand in the air with a flourish, "so unique."

“That’s why you so spoiled,” Wayne laughed and Greg nodded in agreement, “what about you Colin?” Wayne managed to bring everyone’s attention onto their quiet friend.

Colin looked surprised, “oh, uh …” he smiled fondly, “I’m the oldest of 3. I have a brother and sister.”

“Really?!” Greg was the first to respond, “I’ve known you for at least 6 years, how did I not know that?”

“Some friend you are, Greg!”

“Shut up, Brad!”

“Pics or it didn’t happen!” Drew was quickly working on another beer.

“Like he has pictures of his siblings just on his person,” Ryan defended, but was surprised when he saw Colin reaching for his wallet, “you carry pictures of your sister and brother.”

Colin rolled his eyes, “My sister just sent me this, her son just turned one.” He produced a wallet sized picture of a beautiful woman and a bright eyed baby boy holding a wooden ‘1’. It was a professional shot, but even so anyone could see she was gorgeous with long, thick black hair, bright blue eyes, freckles speckled across her nose, “this is my sister, Cosette, and my nephew Leo.” Even on close inspection you couldn’t see much resemblance.

“She’s fucking hot, Col,” Greg barked and mimed rubbing his glasses clear.

“And let’s also remember she’s my sister,”

“You must have gotten the short end of the gene pool,” Brad joked. Wayne and Drew gave an appreciative laugh, “you guys look nothing alike.”

“Well,” Colin raised an eyebrow and grinned, “considering I’m adopted, that’d be pretty tough so…”

“What … shit, Colin,”

Colin shrugged and in typical fashion changed the subject, “I’m gonna go get more drinks, any requests?” he didn’t really wait for an answer before he bolted from the table.

“Way to go, Braaad.” Greg cuffed Brad on the side of the head playfully.

“I literally had no idea.” He hid his head in his hands, “I feel like such an asshole.”

Ryan shrugged, but didn’t say anything. Of course he knew, but this was Colin’s story not his.

“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, I knew already.” Drew did his best to console Brad.

Wayne added it, “I mean, I’m technically adopted too, I doubt Colin really cares that we know now.”

They spoke in retrospective speculation for a few minutes and they all decided that it was best to just leave it alone. Colin was Colin after all and if he really wanted them to know the details, he would tell them. Though, they all understood that that was not going to happen. Wayne noticed the Canadian wasn’t back yet and decided to go investigate, “I’m gonna go see if Colin needs help,” he was actually a little surprised that Ryan did go after him already. He was a bit suspicious that something was brewing between them and it wasn’t the normal lovey goo-goo eyes they made at each other. He caught Ryan’s look as he exited the table. There was something in them that he just couldn’t identify, understanding? Mutual respect? Wayne mentally shrugged it off and when in search of Colin through the empty bar.

Colin being adopted made so much sense to Wayne: his shyness, the distance he kept himself from people, how he knew to give just a little bit of himself away so no one thought to press for more. It made so much sense the way he kept himself in the background – intent to listen so he didn’t miss anything instead of put himself out there.

Wayne felt a small flicker of guilt – had he pushed to hard?

He found Colin leaning against the bar in a casual banter with the bartender. She was new and young and obviously a fan because she was tripping over herself with nerves. Wayne decided to hang back until she left. When Colin settled back into silence, Wayne came forward and took up a similar position next to him, arms crossed and leaning.

The silence didn’t last long, Colin glanced over at Wayne and offered a soft smile, “I feel like I should apologize.”

“For what?”

“You shared something really personal with me and instead of reciprocating, I fled.”

Wayne put a gentle hand slowly on Colin’s shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze, “it’s no big deal really.”

Colin didn’t react to the contact, but looked away, “it kind of is. I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m adopted and it’s not as if I’d deny it either. I just freak out whenever someone wants to talk to me about stuff like that.”

Wayne dropped his hand and shrugged.

“It’s a bit embarrassing, I’m such a disappointment when fans meet me in real life.”

“Number 1 - no you aren't, your fans love you and B. It’s who are you, no one judges you for that.”

Colin sighed, but made no other comment as the waitress returned with six glasses of a dark liquid, “thank you,” Colin said softly before turning back to Wayne, “help me carry some of these will you?”

Balancing 3 drinks each, the duo made their way back across the empty bar, weaving around vacant tables. Wayne could smell the alcohol wafting up from the glasses he carried, but couldn't identify. When they returned the conversation had moved on to something else and they were greeted with cheers of approval as they passed around the glassed.

“Scotch?” Ryan raised an eyebrow, lifting the dark liquid to his lips.

"Bruichladdich Scotch." Colin nodded with a knowing smile allowing the familiar word role of his tongue in perfect accent.

“Wait!” Wayne called everyone to halt before the drinks were thrown back, “let’s not waste this wonderful opportunity and wonderful alcohol, courtesy of Mr. Mochrie and his suddenly really good Scottish accent,” he nodded at Colin who dutifully nodded back, but gave no explanation to his sudden affinity for correct Scottish pronunciation, “and let’s turn this into a drinking game.”

There were groans, “I swear to God, Brady, if you say Irish Drinking Song I’ll kill you.” Greg sniffed at his drink, “boy, it smells tasty.”

“Oh God no,” Wayne looked offended, “DO I look like Dan to you? No, it’s called, Never Have I Ever.”

“What are we in college?” Brad laughed, “Get on it with then.”

“It goes like this, hold up your hand,” Wayne demonstrated and held up five fingers while everyone followed suit, “I’m going to say something I’ve never done before. If you have, put a finger down and take a drink. The first one with all 5 fingers down buys the next round.

“I’ll go first – never have I ever been white.” He snickered at the curses and sputtering as everyone took their first drink and dropped a finger, “the one time being a brother pays off,” he looked to his right, “Greg?”

“Holy shit, Col," Greg had scrunched up his face and mock shivered, "You're gonna make Scotsman of us all!”

"If you can't handle it, Greg, I'd be happy to supply something more your speed." Colin quipped back.

"I take that as a challenge, Mochrie."

“Get on with it, Greg!” Ryan flicked a piece of napkin at him from across the table, “Scotch is getting warm!”

“Fine, fine,” he feigned thinking for a moment, “hmm… never have I ever been broken up with.”

“Ohh we’re going deep then,” Wayne laughed as he put a finger down. A quick glance around showed everyone putting a finger down except for Colin, whose expression was completely unreadable. It struck Wayne for a moment that this was probably the worst type of game for Coin to play considering it’s all about revealing truths.

“What, the legendary Colin Mochrie has never been broken up with?” Greg leaned forward so he could see around Wayne, “Do I sense an unbidden truth coming forth?”

Colin nervous at the sudden attention just shrugged, “I like being in charge.” He quipped. If anyone noticed the way Ryan turned his head away, a soft knowing smile on his lips, no one said anything. Colin eyes flicked across Ryan’s face only briefly before turning back to Greg. Greg caught it. Immediately. But instead of saying something just, ‘hmmed’ and turned back towards Brad expectantly.

“Okay … never have I ever done drugs.”

There was a chorus of disappointed, “oh’s” as everyone but Drew dropped a finger.

“That’s cold, Sherwood, I guess we need to break you in.”

The game continued onward. Greg, as expected, lost the first round and drunkenly crawled out from under the table to the next round, “this is a nice view,” he quipped as he struggled through the cave of legs and shoes, “Ryan can you detangle yourself from Colin for just a minute, it’s like a freaking flood gate, man!” Ryan pulled his legs back where they were still crossed around Colin’s ankles. The two smiled at each other, but made no comment as Greg finally appeared on the other side.

“Now you have to crawl back through while balancing another round of scotch.” Colin smirked at the well-chosen finger that flashed in front of him.

“Fuck you, Mochrie,”

“You wish, Proops,” Colin winked at him and Greg having no retort left for the bar to order the next round.

They played two more rounds like that. Drew surprisingly losing the next one and Ryan the one after that. At the point, they were all feeling a bit warm and fuzzy and even Colin found himself relaxed against the seat next to Wayne, eye’s heavy with the warmth of scotch buzzing through him. From across the table Ryan was sitting silently, listening to the chatter of his costars, green eyes bright with alcohol. He caught Colin looking at him and smiled, “you okay?” he mouthed at him. Colin just nodded. And suddenly Wayne was there, putting his arm around Colin’s shoulders tightly, “Scotch,” was all he said at first, “was a dangerous idea.”

Colin smiled fondly at him, “Let's blame the Scot in me, eh, Mr. Brady. ”

“Here, here!” Drew raised his glass and the rest followed suit, clinking and throwing back the last of their scotch. The crowds were thickening at that point, most of the tables occupied with middle aged people unwinding after a long week. The charm of this bar was that it was never terribly crowded, a hidden gem, playing 80s music and offering a list of "off the money" alcohols and bar food. It wasn’t often that they ran into people that recognized them, with the exception of Drew, and those that did were usually indifferent or polite enough to ignore them.

“Woah, anyone else know that the mafia was in town?” Brad motioned to the front door, where three men in tailored suits just walked in. They were a hard looking sort. The center man pale and bald with a condescending smirk stuck on his face. The other two were plain looking men, short cropped blonde hair and blue eyes, obviously brothers. They had a weak aura around them as they followed after the taller man. Whoever they were, they looked incredibly out of place. The rest of the bar seemed to think so too because eyes tracked them as they made their way across the room to bar. Wayne noted they too ordered a round of Scotch.

“Didn’t realize this place had turned into such a dive,” Greg whispered out of the side of his mouth.

The trio continued to lean and sip their drink saying nothing to each other, eyes lazily surveying the crowd. The crowd seemed to lose interest and did the cast members hidden away at their table. They returned to their conversations and jokes, the odd incident already out of their fuzzied brains. Colin, on the other hand, never looked away. From where they were sitting the bar was hard to see. He had to strain in his seat, sitting up taller to get a good look. Ryan caught sight of Colin’s struggle and followed his gaze, turning in his seat to see what had captured his friend’s attention.

“Col?” he pried gently and when Colin didn’t immediately react he kicked him lightly in the shin, “Colin, do you know him?” Was all he asked.

Colin pulled his gaze away, settling back down into his seat, he leaned forward, his eyes wide, jaw clenched, “I – we- need to get out of here. Now.” His words were laced with anger and … fear? Ryan couldn’t quite place the emotions that were dancing across Colin’s usually expressionless face. At that point the rest of the table could sense his change in demeanor.

“Is everything okay, Colin?” Drew asked from across the table.

Colin barely spared him a glance before locking eyes with Ryan, “we need to go.” He actually made to stand, suddenly forgetting he just pounded 4 drams of whiskey and 2 beers. On his feet, he staggered only a moment before looking back at Ryan expectantly. It was in this moment that Colin truly wished that they actually shared the telepathic powers that was often joked about them having.

Before Ryan could ask again who the mysterious man was, the person of interest was there. Standing only a few feet away, watching Colin with that same sarcastic smirk. Up close, Ryan could see the man was in his mid to late forties, the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth giving away his age. But he was lean and strong and his aura was imposing and demanding. Something about those dark eyes struck Ryan as familiar. From a few feet away he stood over Colin by perhaps an inch, his suit was dark and expensive looking, it was a stark comparison to Colin’s Canada zip up and washed out dark blue jeans.

An eerie silence fell across the table, a vacuum of sound as the banter of the bar around them seemed to fade away. Colin turned to face the man head on.

“You don’t look happy to see me.” The voice was thick with a Scottish accent, deep and gravely from years of cheap cigarettes and even cheaper alcohol.

“Should I be?” Colin didn’t move, but his fists were clenched tight and his shoulders were stiff with tension. He stood with his feet parted, standing ramrod straight in a defiant pose.

“Who the fuck are you?” Ryan spat at him. He made to stand, but Colin’s hand shot out in front of him, halting his motions. Ryan glanced between the two of them, practically growling, feeding off the anger that was rolling off Colin in waves.

The man barely looked at Ryan before placing all of his attention back on Colin, “it’s been almost 15 years. I don’t even get a proper hello.”

“Who the fuck is this creep, Col?” Greg opened his mouth again before Colin could send him a quieting gaze, “listen, buddy, crazy loco fans should track us down on set. Get the fuck out of here.”

The cold gaze turned toward, Greg, “You’re sweet defending him.” His eyes flicked over to Colin, his motions subtle and threatening, “I most certainly am a fan. Are these your friends, braithair?” there was something in the way he asked that questions and turned his stare back on Colin that sent major alarms off in Ryan’s head. Something wasn’t right.

“They are none of your concern.” Colin took a step forward and shifted over so the man’s full attention was on him, placing himself defensively in front of the table of his friends, “what do you want?”

The man ignored the question and waved at his sidekicks (bodyguards? Hired hands? Lovers? Ryan ran the ‘new choices’ through his head) who placed themselves strategically in front of the group. If anyone were to look over to the dark secluded corner, they would see two imposing men standing by hiding whatever was going on behind them, “I think they, and you, are very much my concerned.” The man eyed the table behind Colin, a predatory gleam in his eyes, “After all, we’re family, I am your -.”

Before the rest of the words could leave his mouth, the stranger’s head went reeling backwards, a curse on his lips, as Colin’s fist connected with his jaw. Before his sidekicks could turn around and interfere, Colin had a handful of the man’s shirt in his fist, shoving him around and backward against the wall. At the same time, his other arm came forward, catching the other side of the man’s jaw with his elbow. Colin readjusted his grip and slammed his elbow under the man’s chin, pressing on his airway. The stranger’s back hit the wall with a painful thud.

The only thing that seemed to be keeping the sidekicks at bay was the stranger’s lack of reaction. He held up his hands as if to surrender, stilling his sidekicks who were eyeing the rest of the cast as if ready to brawl, to stand down.

Everyone was on their feet by now. Wayne stood the closest and could feel the tension radiating off of Colin. If Ryan’s temper was like fire, quick to ignite and then let simmer, Colin’s was like ice, cold and calculating. It came over you slowly, freezing you in place and all you could do was sit and shiver until the ice thawed. His voice dropped to a whisper and Wayne found he even had to lean in to hear what he said. It was soft and menacing, “You are nothing to me,” the words came out in a tight hiss, his cheeks flushed with anger, “You don’t belong here. Leave and never come back.”

The man smirked and lowered his hands as if to disengage, but instead of Colin releasing his grip as the man probably expected, he tightened it, slamming him back in place against the wall, “stay the fuck away from him.” No one questioned who 'him' was, especially when the man glanced briefly at Ryan who stood angrily over Colin’s shoulder.

The thick silence that fell was disrupted by someone clearing their throat. It was Joe, come to investigate the commotion, “everything alright here, Mr. Mochrie?”

Colin barely spared him a look, but shoved the stranger into the wall one last time as if to drive his point home, before stepping back and disengaging, “thanks, Joe, everything’s fine. My friends here were just leaving.” Colin never took his eyes off the now bloodied stranger as he straightened his jacket and rubbed his jaw.

He wiped the blood from his busted lip and smirked up at Colin, “see you around, Mr. Mochrie.” His voice was rough from his temporarily constricted airway, but it was still laced with a threatening tone. He nodded at his goons and they left without another word.

Colin didn’t take his eyes off of them until they were out of the bar. When they were gone, he turned to Joe, “sorry, Joe, didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” He took a deep breath, “I’ll get out of your hair.” Colin didn’t make eye contact with anyone while he fished for his wallet and threw a handful of bills down. Greg even wisely kept his mouth shut. Everyone could still see the anger on his face, the way his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance, the tension in his shoulders. If anyone saw the blood on his knuckles, they made no comment.

“It’s no problem, Mr. Mochrie, just want to make sure everything is okay.”

Colin just nodded at him before glancing at Ryan, an unreadable expression on his face, “I’ll catch you later.” And he was out the door before anyone could think to stop him.


	5. Cornered

“That. Was fucking. Terrifying.”

Ryan turned towards Greg who slumped back down into the booth behind him, ashen and trembling.

Drew nervously swirled his Scotch, suddenly losing his appetite for booze, “who was that guy?” He wiped his forehead and then ran his hands across his pants, “thought I was gonna have to go full-blown Marines on them.” He laughed awkwardly trying to break the tension.

“Ryan?” Brad looked at Ryan expectantly.

Ryan just shook his head, “I have no idea.” And in all truth, he didn’t. He had a suspicion, but kept his mouth shut. He was vaguely aware of Joe muttering something about staying out of trouble before wandering away. Greg was still talking, rambling, his nervous habit. It’s what he did when he didn’t know what else to do. Ryan forced himself to tune in to what his friend was saying.

“But to get Colin pissed like that …. That was fucking scary … who knew Colin could throw a punch,” Ryan could feel the tension headache growing and suddenly felt incredibly sober.

“I thought he was going to pummel him. Like, I’ve seen angry Colin, but that was Ice King Colin, like, Ryan, you angry is a walk in the fucking park – that was a frozen fucking tundra.”

“Greg, I know.”

“Like what the fuck, man?”

“I know, Greg …” Ryan place a hand on his arm to still him, “shut up.” He finally snapped when Greg continued to pry.

“You should go after him.” Wayne, who had been silent since the altercation began, finally spoke up, “he drank just as much as we did. He shouldn’t be alone.”

“I don’t know even know where to look.” Ryan offered lamely, a desperate look on his face.

“He can’t of gotten far, let’s go, I’ll go with you.”

“What about us?” Brad wore the face of forced sobriety, wanting to help, but not really knowing how.

“We should help you guys look for him.” Drew was throwing a pile of cash down on the table, called to action.

For a brief moment, Wayne could hear Greg’s voice in his head, what do cornered dogs do? They bite. Wayne could imagine all of them searching the streets for Colin. It seemed like a bad idea. Greg must have been thinking the same thing, because he seemed to find his voice again to state his opinion, “why don’t we leave Wayne and Ryan to search for Colin,”

Drew looked confused.

“Colin’s a big boy. He doesn’t need the search marines tracking him down,” Greg put an arm around Drew’s shoulder, “hey, why don’t we go back to your place?”

Drew narrowed his eyes, but just nodded his head, “ooookay. Call us if you find him? Let us know what’s going on?”

Wayne nodded on behalf of him and Ryan. Ryan was already making his way towards the door, obviously past the point of talking. He followed behind as quickly as he could, but when he made it outside Ryan was down the street, hands shoved in his pocket, a cigarette hanging from his lips. Wayne thought about jogging to catch up to him, but instead just yelled out, “meet up at Drew’s in an hour!” Wayne wasn’t totally sure he heard, but turned and began walking the opposite direction anyway.

As he walked he could feel his stomach tightening in worry. He suddenly felt all his pushing and prying and digging was blowing up around him. He was in way over his head. Was he really ready to get swept up into whatever was going on with Colin? He told Colin that his friendship was worth the work, but this? He shook the thought from his head. He wouldn’t abandon his friend now.

It turned out he didn’t have to walk far. The crowds were still light. The part of LA they were in not heavily populated with people even for how late it was on a Saturday night. He found Colin after only a few minutes of walking, leaning against the wall under the awning of a closed coffee shop, a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth, his arms crossed, head bent down against the eyes of the crowd and passing cars.

“Hey,” was all Wayne said when he walked up.

Colin took a deep drag of his cigarette and shifted to look at him before speaking, “got the short end of the stick, huh?”

Wayne was struck by the coldness in his voice, the frosty anger he could still see in his eyes. The anger was rolling off of him in waves and Wayne mentally made note, slow to anger, but even slower to thaw. He was pretty proud of his ice analogy and realized then that that was probably the true reason Colin fled – he was isolating his anger so he didn’t lash out at them.

“We were worried, man.” Wayne offered. He once again could hear Greg’s warning in his head, cornered dogs ….they bite. This seemed like a bad idea all of a sudden.

Colin exhaled a puff of smoke with a heavy sigh, pulling the cigarette from his lips, “we?” he snarked out.

“Yes…” Wayne felt the thin ice he was walking on.

Colin didn’t speak for a moment, leaning back heavily against the wall behind him, puffing away, watching he cars pass by with little interest. After the cigarette was gone, he turned to Wayne, arms crossed, body tense, “I’m sure you are expecting an explanation.”

“Not really.” Wayne shrugged and pulled his own pack of cigarettes from his pocket, he lit one, looking away from Colin’s challenging gaze. He was trying to come off as calm and indifferent, a warm presence that could thaw a bit of Colin’s icy temper.

Colin ‘hmphed’ in vague disbelief, “then why are you here?” Wayne could hear the unspoken part of that question, ‘why are you here and not Ryan?’

Wayne took a drag, “we were worried,” he repeated, “Ryan went one way, I came this way. He seemed to think you shouldn’t be alone.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“You have certainly demonstrated that,” Colin made no response except to uncross his arms to fish out another cigarette and that’s when Wayne noticed the blood smeared across his knuckles, bruises already blossoming across his fist, “holy shit, Col, your hand!”

Colin narrowed his eyes at the use of his nickname, but otherwise shrugged indifferently and lit his cigarette.

“Is that from punching that guy? You should get it looked at.”

Colin shrugged again, “him and the wall outside the bar.” He took another long drag, “it doesn’t hurt that bad.”

They stood and smoked in silence for a while. The crowds were growing thicker and Wayne was getting a little paranoid that someone would recognize them. Next to him, he could almost start to feel the ice wall built around Colin beginning to thaw. When he saw Colin start shifting and flexing his hand uncomfortably, Wayne finally spoke up, “we should get a cab. Ryan is looking for you too.”

Colin nodded, but didn’t speak.

Knowing Colin had a stubborn streak, Wayne took it upon himself to flag down a cab. He gave the driver Drew’s address and settled back into what he imagined was going to be a tense drive. Colin was silent while Wayne chatted amicably with the driver. When the small talk wasn’t enough to fill the void, Wayne settled back to observe his costar. Colin’s face had lost most of its anger and he now sat completely still and silent. Brown eyes dull and disinterested. The only movement Wayne could see was the steady rise and fall of his chest and the slight tremble in his hands that lay in his lap.

“So was it the alcohol or legitimate temper that made you punch that guy?”

Colin looked up sharply, anger flashing across his face. He looked for a moment as if he were going to say something snide, but he went for deflection instead, “both,” was the only answer he offered Wayne.

“Ah.” Pressing was not going to work so Wayne just sat with Colin in silence.

They were in the out skirts of the city, an almost 45 minute drive in normal traffic, but it was late and the traffic was on their side. 20 minutes later found them outside of Drew’s house. The driver dropped them at the locked gate at the end of the drive way and they stood together staring at the obviously empty, dark house.

“I have no idea how we beat them here. I thought they were leaving right away.”

Colin grunted, “We can just wait. The cabbie is gone.” He settled himself on the concrete bench that sat outside the locked gate, “why the fuck does Drew have a locked gate around his house?”

Wayne chuckled, “it’s what you do with lots of money, I guess.”

A moment passed.

Colin cleared his throat, tense, “He’s uh … he’s my brother.”

Wayne sucked in a sharp breath. His stomach dropping at the implications of that statement.

“My biological brother, anyway,” Colin chuckled darkly, “I guess baldness runs in the family.” He let another moment pass, “I’m not sure why I told you that.”

“Why is he here?” Wayne asked.

Colin took a deep shuddering breath and looked Wayne dead in the face. Wayne took a step back at what he saw there. Anger and hatred and fear. His eyes were as dark as the night that surrounded them and Wayne had to force himself to maintain eye contact, “Look,” Colin’s tone was matter of fact, it sounded as if he was going to give Wayne an out, “my life has been a delightful fuck up. I’ve tried really hard to normalize it and keep all the fucked up shit behind me, but it keeps coming back and people close to me don’t want to put up with it. You once told me my friendship was worth the work and I’m telling you now, honestly, that no it’s not. It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it. So don’t ask. Just drop it.”

It was probably the most Colin had ever said to him all at once and Wayne felt sick at how self-deprecating and angry he sounded. Colin had turned away and was stonily looking out across Drew’s deserted yard.

Wayne placed a tentative hand on Colin’s shoulder. When it was immediately flinched away, Wayne tightened his grip, using his other hand to turn Colin so they were facing each other dead on, Wayne gripping Colin’s shoulders tightly.

“What are you-,” before Colin could finish, Wayne cut him off.

“Look, Colin, I get it. I know what you are feeling. The anger and resentment, like all your problems are worth no one’s time but your own.” Colin opened his mouth to speak again, but Wayne stopped him, “I struggled with those feelings for years. But you gotta trust someone, Colin. Let me help, let me in.”

Colin apparently wasn’t swayed because he roughly pushed Wayne’s hands off of him and wrenched himself free. He paced a tight circle in front of him, aggravation and anger in full force. It was such a different side of him that Wayne had not seen before. “Sweet, mild-mannered Colin” as he was often described had a temper and Wayne wasn’t sure how to soothe it.

“I spent years dealing with that anger and resentment,” Colin practically spat him, eyes blazing, “I’ve dealt with it. It’s gone. This is so different, this man… this man is dangerous. Ryan is already at risk because he’s already gotten too close, but you don’t need to be. Get out while you can. I can’t risk you getting killed for me.” Colin rounded sharply on Wayne and stared him down, breathing ragged, daring him to defy him and argue.

Wayne finally spoke, his voice calm, “I’ll say it again, Colin, I think your friendship is worth the risk.”

Colin pressed his lips together tightly, fists clenched tightly at his side. He looked like he was ready to go off on him again, but at that moment another cab pulled up. It was Ryan.

Ryan payed the driver and turned towards the duo. The look of relief that spread across both of their faces made Wayne instantly self-conscious as if he were imposing. Ryan paid Wayne no attention. He walked straight up to Colin and stopped just in front of him. There was a moment of silence as they spoke with no words and then Ryan had Colin wrapped up in his arms, pressing his lips to the shorter mans. Wayne was struck immediately at how comfortable they looked. This wasn’t a stage kiss and Wayne couldn’t even pretend to be surprised.

Ryan pulled away, “God, I was so worried.”

“I’m fine, Ryan,” there was an instant change in Colin’s tone. He sounded so much calmer. Apparently Ryan was the fire needed to thaw Colin’s icy temper.

“Did he hurt you? Are you okay? You scared the shit out of me.” Before Colin could answer Ryan had his mouth on his again.

Wayne really didn’t feel like waiting so cleared his throat awkwardly, “hi Ryan. Glad you could join us.”

Ryan pulled away and only Colin managed to look slightly embarrassed, “surprise?” he offered with a slight smile on his face. He looked so comfortable tucked under the crook of Ryan’s long arm.

Ryan turned a fiery glare on Wayne, “not a word to a soul or you’re dead.”

Wayne mimed zipping his lips closed. That seemed to satisfy Ryan because he turned back to Colin once again, “was that Michael?”

“Yeah.”

“Why is he here? How is he here?”

“That’s what I was trying to tell you a couple of days ago.”

“Tell me now.” He glanced at Wayne with a ‘get the fuck out of here’ look on his face.

“It’s okay, Ryan,” Colin glanced at Wayne, an unreadable expression in his warm brown eyes, “he can stay.” He didn’t spare Wayne another glance and turned towards Ryan again, “my lawyer called me the night before I left your place. Michael’s case got reevaluated and dismissed. He couldn’t really tell me why. He got out, Ry.” That seemed to mean something to the duo, but for Wayne, he was completely lost and didn’t want to interrupt.

“My lawyer wanted me to reinstate the restraining order so I had to fly to Scotland.” Colin fell silent.

“Shit, Col…”

“I know. It’s fucked up. That’s why I left in such a hurry. It was messy – lots of legal bullshit.”

“How is he here?”

“I don’t know. My guess is not legally.”

“You should call the cops.” It was the first time Wayne spoke sense the odd exchange began and he wasn’t entirely sure why he said it, “I mean, I really have no idea what’s going on, but this Michael character sounds like a pretty bad dude.”

Colin smiled softly at Wayne, condescending almost, “I can’t.” was all he said.

“Yes you can,” it was Ryan who spoke now, “you should. You can’t deal with this alone.”

“It’s too dangerous, last time the police got involved …”

“You need to.”

“I can’t risk it, Ry.” There was a finality to the statement that caught Wayne off guard. It came out as a cold hiss, his temper suddenly flaring. Ryan took a step back away from Colin, also startled by the sudden intensity of his words, “you know I can’t risk it, Ryan.” Colin repeated the sentiment again, but his words lost their bite and was replaced with desperation. He paced away from Ryan, brushing past Wayne. His face was hidden in his hands and Wayne could just make out the harsh, ragged breaths he was taking. Wayne recognized the signs of a panic attack immediately, having suffered them often as a kid, but he couldn’t confirm it until Colin rounded on them again, hands held out in front of him in a desperate flail, the blood now even more obvious dried and caked to his knuckles, “I can’t fucking do this again.”

Wayne wasn’t entirely sure what “again” was referring to, but he could infer that it wasn’t good.

Colin turned his back on them both, hands and arms moving from resting on his hips to stretching to rest on his head and scrubbing down his face, “I can’t.” he said it again and his voice trembled, stress and panic finally sending him over the edge. Wayne’s heart hurt for him and he felt helpless and intrusive.

Ryan brushed past Wayne in a few long strides, the concern and determination on his face was enough to let Wayne know that it was probably time to give them space. When Ryan reached Colin, he turned him around, grasping him gently by the side of his heads, forcing him to make eye contact. The tears and pain in Colin’s brown eyes made Wayne’s throat constrict and he then decided it was time for a walk and a smoke.

He chose a direction, back down Drew’s driveway, and smoked his cigarette. He briefly wondered why the rest of the guys hadn’t made it there yet, but then pushed the thought from his mind. He took his time smoking his cigarette, letting his mind wander. When he finished the first cigarette, he lit another one and began a slow walk back. When he found Ryan again, he was a little surprised to see Colin gone. Ryan sat alone on the bench outside the still locked gate, shrouded in his own cloud of smoke, “what took you so long?”

“Where’s Colin?”

“Don’t you know I sent him home?”

“Everything okay now?”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Ryan stood and walked toward him until they were only inches apart. There was suspicion in his eyes, “Are you in love with him?”

Wayne laughed, “Isn’t that your job?”

“Why do you say that?”

Wayne tried his best to maintain a straight face, but all he managed was to stutter out, “… because…” and he turned and walked away. The brief light heartened mood vanished when he realized that Colin wasn’t there to take his place like he should have been after a screw up during a game. He and Ryan faced each other in a depressed silence.

“This fucking sucks ass.” Ryan said extinguishing the last of his cigarette, “let’s get out of here.”

“What about the guys?”

“They’ll figure it out,” Ryan looked around at the mostly empty street, “let’s find a place to get some coffee – we should talk.”


	6. Collared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed and short post! What a couple of weeks it's been! I already have the next few chapters written, so updates will be much quicker! Thanks everyone for the kudos and kind reviews. :)

Wayne and Ryan sat in silence, sipping burnt coffee, replaying the events of the evening in their head in silent horror, trying to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong. Ryan understood the implications, Wayne just hurting because his friends were.

“You know, I always thought my childhood was fucked up.” Wayne took a long drink of coffee, trying to fight the nausea building. He blamed it on the coffee and the alcohol. It had nothing to do with what had just been revealed to him.

Ryan sat across from him in the worn down booth, looking big and imposing at the too small table they huddled over. He merely grunted in response, surveying the empty, dingy diner they had found refuge in. When he didn’t immediately pick up the dialogue again, Wayne pressed on, “what the fuck is going on, man?”

Ryan again didn’t speak. He instead glared out the window, gripping his coffee cup so hard his knuckles were white, jaw twitching from clenching his teeth together.

Wayne carried on, “so that was Colin’s biological brother.”

“Yep.” Ryan bit out the word like it was poison.

“And he got himself arrested and has been in jail for the past 20 years?”

“Mostly, yep.”

Wayne didn’t speak at first. Something wasn't adding up, “that would have made Colin 24? What happened?”

Instead of answering, Ryan countered with his own question, “Did you know he used to be engaged?”

That caught Wayne completely off guard, “Michael?”

“No.” Ryan said it with a scoff, “Colin.”

“No, I didn’t know that.” The nausea was creeping up on him again. _Really shouldn’t drink so much …_

“When he was 23,” Ryan continued as if Wayne hadn’t spoken, “he loved her so much. Deborah. They were perfect together.” Wayne caught just a hint of jealousy in Ryan’s tone, though he did his best to hide it.

“What happened?” Wayne didn’t actually want to know.

A pained expression passed over Ryan’s face, then anger, “she died….well … she was killed.”

Wayne went cold and asked the next question already having an idea of the answer, “Who?”

“Michael.”

It was as if all the air had been sucked from the room, like Wayne had just been punched in the gut and he was left gasping for breath. He felt cold all over and he found himself looking over his shoulder as if Michael was going to swoop in and finish them off just for talking about it.

“Why?” he managed to ask breathlessly.

“It’s complicated.”

Wayne nodded mutely, putting his coffee cup down realizing it was still hovering in the air, halfway to his mouth. He didn’t even notice the half cooled liquid slosh over the side and down his hands. He didn’t dare release the death grip he had on it, thinking any release of tension would allow the nausea to finally come bubbling over.

He blamed it on the Scotch.

Ryan sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands in frustration, “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Wayne ‘hmmm’ed noncommittally and allowed a breath to pass, “why are you telling me this?”

“Colin asked me to. He said ‘you deserved it’ whatever that fucking means,” Ryan’s anger suddenly was turned on him, “I don’t know what game you’re playing, Brady, but you better fucking watch yourself.”

Wayne immediately went on the defensive, “hey man, I’m just worried about him.”

“Why?”

“He’s my friend.”

“Why all of a sudden?”

“I guess I …” Wayne trailed off. Why did he care so much all of a sudden? Was it simply to satisfy his curiosity? Was it to prove a point? Was it simply because he couldn’t stand the thought of Colin not liking him? That sounded ridiculous even as the thought passed through his head. He knew he was being completely dishonest with himself.

“I guess I look at him and see how I could have been if my life had turned out different.” He shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. The explanation sounded ridiculous even to himself.

Ryan seemed to agree, because he narrowed his green eyes at him, “Care to elaborate on that perfectly vague statement?”

Wayne finally released the death grip he had on his coffee mug, just so he could waves his hand in front of him in frustration, “I don’t know. My parents were pretty fucked up: drugs and alcohol, but they loved me and saw me as much as they could. I always knew who they were and why things were happening the way they were. I mean, I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. I was lucky. I guess that’s the reason I am the way I am. I don’t think Colin had that and I feel for him.”

Wayne let out a sharp exhale, his throat suddenly constricting. This conversation was way too heavy considering the amount of scotch consumed that night. He blinked rapidly and stared stubbornly out the window, refusing to meet Ryan’s penetrating stare.

“You pity him.” The statement came out as an accusation.

“No,” Wayne immediately countered.

“Then what?”

“I … I’m in awe of him.”

Ryan didn’t speak, but after a moment he nodded his head slowly, “yeah … me too…”

They sat in companionable silence then, suddenly seeming to reach an agreement.

“Will we see him again?” Ryan flicked his eyes up to meet Wayne’s. Wayne elaborated even though he knew he didn’t really need to, “Will we see Michael again?”

“Most definitely.”

“What does he want?”

“To make Colin’s life miserable.”

“I don’t understand,” Wayne shook his head, he didn’t have siblings, but certainly something still tied these two together beyond hate, “They’re brothers, aren’t they?”

“Michael is a fucking psychopath,” Ryan spat the words out, “anyone who gets close to Colin is at risk. That’s why he shuts people out, that’s why he won’t go to the police, that’s why he’s letting this asshole freak rule his life.” Ryan was trembling with rage, “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Wayne could tell he wasn’t going to get any useful conversation out of Ryan. The truth sharing seemed to have ended. It took only a small amount of convincing to get them in a cab and back to Wayne’s hotel. He made the correct assumption that Ryan would find his way to Colin’s room.

They halted briefly outside the elevator, “what are we going to tell the guys?” The truth was the only thing that would satisfy Drew’s curiosity and concern. Cathy was their fourth chair tomorrow and beyond polite, friendly conversation, she was hardly intrusive.

Ryan shook his head in indifference. It was obvious to Wayne that he didn’t really care what the guys were told, but he spoke anyway, “whatever Colin wants, I guess.”

Wayne nodded mutely and would have stood there in remorseful silence if the ding of the elevator hadn’t brought him about. They shared a few words and parted ways. Wayne found himself looking over his shoulder, the hairs on his neck raised in alarm, the entire walk back to his room.


	7. Chained

Chapter 7

Wayne found Colin and Ryan already on set when the cab dropped him off the next day. He shot them both a tired smile, but didn’t approach. He was still working through the last bit of his hangover and even though filming didn’t start for another three hours, all he wanted to do was crawl into his dressing room and the shut off the lights. From across the set, he could see Ryan was in a similar state, but it was Colin who caught his eye. With the exception of the small white bandage across his first two knuckles, Colin looked perfectly pleasant as if the night prior hadn’t even happened. Colin returned Wayne’s smile, with an appreciative, knowing one of his own before turning back to Drew and Ryan. The duo were chuckling about something which to Wayne seemed like a good indication that Colin picked his usual route of avoidance and playing the entire situation off as if everything was fine.

Wayne shook his head and went in search for hot coffee.

No matter how much he drank, the day seemed to drag on and the headache never really went away. If Kathy picked up on any tension, she, as expected, made no indication she noticed anything unusual going on between the trio. But still, the day was tense. What should have been a four-hour taping, turned into six. Drew seemed to purposefully be egging on Dan and the sensors and they were forced to shoot multiple games, multiple times which the producers constantly calling “hold” to scold them for impropriety. If their nerves weren’t already fray, they would have been by the end of taping. Ryan and Dan exchanged heated words off camera on more than one occasion. Colin looked dead on his feet as the taping was winding down.

Drew kept staring at Colin, an unreadable expression on his face. Wayne figured it was the same look on his face. Contemplative. Concerned. Awe-struck. If Colin noticed, he didn’t say anything. He kept that forced smile on his face and worked as if nothing was wrong.

In fact, that’s the attitude that Colin seemed to adopt the rest of the taping, avoidance and fake smiles. For Wayne, the weeks seem to fly by and day after day, taping after taping, he tried to pin Colin down just to talk to him, to make sure he was alright. And every time he was met with a forced smile, a denial, and a wave goodbye. Colin was, of course, the topic of conversation every time the guys went out. They gave up on trying to pry information from Ryan – he wasn’t going to budge and no one really expected him to betray Colin’s trust. So the weeks went by and Wayne found himself wondering if the incident even happened.

*3 Weeks Later*

Colin had never been so relieved to make it to the end of a taping. His normal release from everyday tension was now the cause of it and had him feeling trapped. Normally, he could play it off. He was good at melting into the background, letting the conversations float around. But now he felt like every move he made was being analyzed and studied. Oh, Wayne and Drew did their best to keep their watchful eyes hidden, but Colin caught on pretty quick. Greg and Brad were marginally better, knowing less of what was going on seemed to keep their pitying stares at bay.

He did his best to keep his smile in place, to keep the tension off his face and his temper, which never used to rear its ugly head, in check. He found it exhausting to keep lying, saying he was fine and not worried, so instead he just hid. He avoided one-on-one interactions at first, allowing himself to mingle in groups and enjoy the company of his friends, but even then the stares and the questions and everyone’s insistence on knowing what was going on became too much. So then he started avoiding interactions all together. The only place he seemed to find peace was curled up next to Ryan on his overly soft bed, lights out – no noise, no buzzer, no pitying looks. He had just peace and quiet and a moment of release from the crippling fear that consumed him.

Michael was always in the back of his mind, a dark omniscient presence that he expected to appear at any moment. He found himself staring into the faces of the crowd, expecting to see cold, dark, hateful eyes staring back at him. He knew he was out there, biding his time. Waiting. Plotting. Colin wasn’t sure for what, but he found himself on edge.

Colin was counting down the hours.

The sooner he was on a flight back to Toronto, the sooner everyone would be safe. The cast party was in two days and Colin had no intention of going. In fact, he hadn’t told anyone that he was planning on skipping town the day filming ended.

“Colin?” The smooth voice interrupted his plotting and he was instantly embarrassed at the flinch at Wayne’s soft approach. Colin must have spaced out because he was standing stoically, key in hand, outside of his rental car in almost deserted parking lot.

“Oh, hey, Wayne,” Colin smiled at him, aware how unconvincing it was.

“The guys were planning on going out for an unofficial post-taping dink, you in?”

Colin briefly wondered where Ryan was and why he wasn’t the one asking. The confusion must have shown on his face.

“I’m not sure where Ryan is, haven’t seen him since taping ended.”

That didn’t sit right with Colin, but he wrote off the nagging feeling, “I’m kind of tired, I’ll probably bale.”

Wayne’s smile looked sad, “anything I can do?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Wayne snorted and looked away, pulling out his cigarettes, “that is your mantra, isn’t it?” he muttered under his breath, lighting up.

“Excuse me?” Colin felting his fraying nerves snap, “What was that?”

Wayne looked back at him, annoyance and exhaustion written on his face, “it’s been three weeks since Michael,” – Colin’s only visible flinch was a twitch of his eye – “showed up and you’ve shut us all out. We keep asking. I thought after -.”

“After what?” Colin interrupted, his temper flaring.

“After we talked, that we had reached an understanding. That-.”

“That what? We have one heart to heart and suddenly we’re best friends. What do you expect? That I’m going to spill my heart to you. That suddenly you’re privy to all my _anguish_ ,” he said the word with a sneer, “you have no idea, Wayne, and you have no right to know.” Wayne looked like he was going to protest, but Colin silenced him, “No, Wayne. I’ve done my job. I’ve made people laugh. I’ve let none of this get in the way of work. So if you don’t mind all I want to do is go home.” Colin opened his car door in a huff. He knew he was being harsh, but he honestly didn’t care. He wanted to get out and if giving Wayne a bit of a jab was what was needed, then he was going to. As he ducked his head to get into the driver’s seat, he felt Wayne grab his arm, just above the elbow – the same way …

Colin reacted before he knew what he was doing and for the second time he was staring down at a disgruntled looking Wayne who was sprawled out on the pavement, holding his jaw where Colin’s hand had swung and connected. It was a halfhearted hit, but a hit none the less. He stared down at Wayne for a moment, contemplating an apology. After a moment he straightened to his full height and offered a hand.

He didn’t say a word as Wayne got to his feet. He locked eyes with him for a moment, before turning back to his car, “just drop it, Wayne.” He got into his car and drove away, leaving Wayne standing as a lone figure in an empty parking lot.

...WLIIA...

Colin’s first instinct was to drive to his hotel, pack his things and head straight to the airport. He was shaking in anger. How dare he …? Colin shook the thought from his head. He knew Wayne meant well, but he had no time to cater to his need for friendship at the same time he was trying to ditch them all and leave without saying a word. The thought crossed his mind, but he couldn’t just leave without seeking out Ryan. Ryan would never forgive him if he did that too him again. So instead of turning tail and running, he headed to the heart of the issue – Ryan’s house.

As he drove, he tried to recall if he had seen Ryan once taping ended. It was odd for him not to say something before leaving, but his car was gone and there could be no other explanation. That nagging feeling in his stomach returned, but he again chose to ignore it, pushing it aside as a general nuisance.

The house was deserted when he got there. Knowing he wouldn’t get an answer, Colin called out anyway, hoping, praying he was wrong. He wasn’t. Ryan wasn’t there. He searched the house anyway, letting that nagging feeling grow in the pit of his stomach. When it was obvious Ryan wasn’t there and hadn’t been there since at least that morning, he left. He got back in his rental car and turned right back around. He knew he needed to seek Ryan out, but the only other place he could think of going was the bar and honestly that was the last place he wanted to be.

So in typical Colin fashion, he procrastinated. As he drove back to the studio, _to check for Ryan_ – he rationalized, he drummed his thumbs nervously on the steering wheel. It was starting to rain, he noted glumly, and if he didn’t already hate driving in LA traffic, he really hated it in the rain.

And as expected, by the time he got to the studio, it was mostly empty. A few lingering stage hands gave him odd looks and soft smiles, but made no comment as to his sudden reappearance, for which he was grateful. Colin searched the studio, knowing once again that Ryan wasn’t there. He briefly wondered, as he checked both of their dressing rooms for a note that was maybe left behind, if this whole thing was a subtle and snide retaliation for his earlier behavior.

Colin dismissed the thought immediately. Ryan might have a temper, but he wasn’t petty. Perhaps they had simply missed each other in their departure. Colin knew that wasn’t true either, but chose to hope instead of addressing that feeling.

Colin spent the entire drive to the bar he knew his fellow costars would be at, trying to come up with a reason as to why he needed to be there and then why needed to promptly not be there. “Checking on Ryan” certainly didn’t seem like a valid reason. He was still brainstorming when he found parking and walked the quick block to the bar. He found Joe, the security guard, outside smoking a cigarette. For a brief and almost hopeful moment, he contemplated if Joe would even let him in. He hadn’t been back since he stalked out weeks ago and Joe would have every right to turn him away.

“Hey, Joe,” he internally berated himself for sounding so timid. He cleared his throat, mustering strength and courage that he wasn’t really feeling, “how’s it going?”

Joe surprised him with a big smile, “Well if it isn’t the soft-spoken, don’t-mess-with-me, Colin Mochrie.”

Colin felt the tension in shoulders dissipate, “hey, Joe,” he repeated again, resigned now to the well-deserved bit of teasing, “yeah…” he drew the word out, scratching the   
back of his head sheepishly, “sorry about that.”

Joe laughed and clapped him on the shoulder, “don’t worry about it, shit happens,” Joe shrugged and waved him inside, “guy looked like a tool anyway.”

Colin flinched slightly at the mention of his brother, but forced a smile anyway. He ignored the open door and was about to ask if his friends were inside when Joe spoke again, “Your friends aren’t here, by the way.”

Colin allowed the surprise to show on his face, “oh?” was all he managed. _Why wouldn’t they be here?_

“I did see a guy leave a note for you at the bar though. Maybe they’re trying a new haunt today, huh?” Joe laughed and waved him inside.

Colin smiled weakly, but couldn’t muster the strength to speak. Suddenly the corners of his vision went black, like tunnel vision, he walked through the almost empty bar. That nagging feeling in his stomach suddenly seemed to creep up and envelop him completely, constricting his chest, shrouding his body in ice. He’s not sure he even spoke to the bartender when she handed him a folded piece of paper with his name elegantly scrawled across the top...

“Colin Macleod.”

His entire body tensed, the paper crinkling beneath his fingers. His vision blurred except for those two words right in front of him. That’s all he needed to see to know who it was from and what it meant.

It meant he was too late.


	8. Dog Fight

Chapter 8: Dog Fight

The hotel was cold.

That was the first feeling he felt since he crumpled the letter in his fist. He didn’t feel the sharp pain of his fingernails biting into his clammy palms or the ache in his jaw from his teeth clenched in anxiety.

Ryan …

It was like tunnel vision. He didn’t remember finding the address and hotel room number on the back of the letter. He didn’t remember leaving the bar, driving to the hotel, fumbling with his keys as trembling hands locked the car door.

All he felt now was the cold that started in the pit of his stomach and grew and spread until it wrapped his whole body in an icy shroud. His fist, that was clenched so tightly, seemed frozen in place. He couldn’t even force a polite smile when the desk workers directed him to the correct room, with the parting words, “Mr. Macleod has been expecting you!”

All he could feel was the cold and all he could think of was Ryan.

The lights were blinding and the elegant decorations seemed taunting. His walk to the elevator muffled. He road to the top floor in agonizing silence.

The floor was empty as expected. It only had three doors, rooms to the hotels most expensive and elegant suites. He didn’t even hesitate before knocking, there was no doubt in his mind of his intentions.

He wasn’t even surprised when the door opened at his faintest touch as if it never properly latched. The room was dark, but he was instantly assaulted by a combination of smells that sent him flying back into a memory: sweet wine and cigars and something else – something tangy and metallic smelling. He was lost in the smell for just a moment and he found himself lingering in the doorway. He was taken out of his trance by sounds further in the room.

…WLiiA?...

Wayne just stood there. That was the second time Colin had lashed out at him and he was really starting to notice a pattern, “what do cornered dogs do” he muttered Greg’s warning to himself as he rubbed his sore jaw, “ they bite.”

He wasn’t even angry. His goal was to provoke some sort of response and he did, just not the one he really wanted.

What exactly were you expecting? He mentally chastised himself as he dusted himself off and straightened his jacket. He wasn’t really sure, but certainly not a punch to the jaw. That shit actually did hurt.

Wayne sighed and glanced around the empty parking lot. It was dark and he parked across the small lot. He saw no one else around, but it was hard to see much outside the ring of the few street lights. He made it to the car without incident, despite his over active and paranoid imagination. He didn’t even hear the footsteps behind him as he unlocked his car door. By the time he opened his door, he didn’t see the reflection of blond hair and blue eyes until they had him by the arms. Barely a sound escaped his mouth as they slammed his head against the edge of the car.

Then blackness.

…WLiiA?...

Ryan and Greg were the first ones to leave the studio. Ryan, in the back of his head, knew he was running and using this as an excuse to avoid Colin. He knew Colin’s intention of leaving. He thought that if he avoided saying goodbye he could avoid him leaving, “Hurry up, Proops, gotta get the normal booth!”

It was a neat excuse and it seemed to work because Greg followed without question and the others promised they’d follow soon. Of course, Greg’s seeming acceptance only lasted until they were in the car together, “So you and Colin are fighting or…?” was all he offered, obviously expecting Ryan to fill in the blanks.

“Or what?”

“Or fucking,” Greg paused a beat, “Or both, actually.”

“You know the answer,” was all Ryan offered.

“So how long?”

“How long what? Have we been fighting or fucking?” he said it with a sneer, hating how vulgar it sounded when it was so much more than that.

Greg gave him a look over his dark farmed glasses. A look that said he knew exactly what Ryan was doing.

Ryan glowered at him and paid extra attention to the road in front of him.

Greg smirked, but said nothing more.

“So seriously, what’s his deal?”

Silence never did last long with Greg.

“I don’t know,” there was weeks of tension, remorse and sadness in that admission and it killed Greg to hear it.

“Things’ll be okay. It’s Colin. He’s always okay.”

“It’s different this time. He’s really scared, Greg.” They had pulled into the parking lot and Ryan put the car in park before turning his full attention to Greg. There were only two people Ryan trusted to be honest with. Greg was a pain in the ass, but a loyal one.

“He’s running away.”

“Yeah.”

“Why from you?” Greg caught sight of Brad and Drew pulling into a parking space a few cars down.

“He’s trying to protect me … I think.” He added as an afterthought.

“Michael?”

“Yeah.”

No more words were really needed. Greg knew more than he let on. Colin had shared stories. Nights in the UK, drunk or high. Greg knew the stories, hell, he could see the scares – literal and figurative.

They didn’t say anything more after that. They got out of the car and walked over to Brad and Drew. The four stood around the car chatting and laughing. They were parked on the side of the building. It was that time of night when it wasn’t quite dark enough for the street lights to flash on, but the sun and crept down below the buildings and cast a dusky, dirty haze across the parking lot.

Ryan barely even registered the stranger that walked out from around the corner – the perfectly pressed, expensive suit, dark piercing eyes found Ryan’s immediately.

Michael.

He didn’t even realize what he was doing until he was walking away from the group, straight towards the bald stranger. His temper was rising and all he saw was red.

“Oiy, Stiles!” He didn’t even hear Brad yell after him. His focus was pinpointed on one man. They met only a cars length away from the group. Close enough that it got everyone’s attention.

Michael smiled sweetly at him and Ryan hated himself for seeing the resemblance between his lover and this monster, “Hello, Mr. Stiles.” The accent actually grated on his nerves.

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t pummel you right now.” Ryan’s fists were clenched tight at his site. He stood at his full height, easily dwarfing the man in front of him.

Michael sighed as if bored and reached into his jacket. The gun he held leveled on Ryan with ease, “Please, Mr. Stiles, let’s not make this difficult. I have no intention of anyone getting hurt tonight.” He looked around Ryan’s tall frame so the rest of the group could easily see the threat he held, “let’s go somewhere we can chat, shall we?”

…WLiiA?...

When Wayne came to it was with a sudden, startled jerk. His eyes snapped open with a sharp intake of breath. He immediately let out a groan, screwing his eyes shut. The lights were blinding and for a brief, disoriented moment he felt like he was waking up after a hangover, his head pounding in protest.

That moment was short lived when he became aware of his hands bound tightly behind him, around something hard that cut into his back. The voices around him seemed to be talking to him, but all he could hear was the blood rushing in his head, the hiss of fluorescent lights above him and the panicked voice in his mind trying to remember how he got into this situation.

“I think he’s waking up … Wayne…” he felt something nudge his foot.

He risked opening his eyes halfway, allowing some light to seep in.

“Wayne, c’mon buddy …. Open you eyes.” Drew’s voice was a harsh, loud whisper.

Wayne forced his eyes open all the way, fighting the nausea that accompanied the searing pain in his head, “Drew – what-?” his voice failed him, dry and weak.

“Damn, they did a number on you.” Greg’s voice that time. Smartass.

“What happened?” Wayne finally lifted his head. Drew was the first one he saw, arms yanked behind his back, legs outstretched, wrists roped together around the base of a … toilet? Wayne blinked a few times. Yep, Drew was definitely tied to a toilet. He was awkwardly forced into a forward crunch, the bowl of the toilet pressing in his shoulder blades. On the other side in a similar state was Greg. Both bound, but seemingly uninjured.

“Where’s -?”

“Behind you,” Brad spoke up.

Wayne did his best to swivel around the poll he was tied, but every movement sent another wave of pain through the side of his face. He moved just enough to see Brad and Ryan tied on opposite sides of another poll. Dividers, he realized, finally get a look around the room. Decorative room dividers. He could see now they were in a large, very elegant bathroom. The dividers looked like support beams that probably used to be part of a wall. On one side was the toilets and a large shower and the other side was an even larger Jacuzzi.

Both Brad and Ryan also looked unharmed, relatively, though Ryan was spouting a black eye and the look of a man ready to kill. He wasn’t speaking, but the set of his jaw and the glint in his eyes said enough about his murderous intentions.

“What the fuck is going on?” it occurred to Wayne that he had only been awake a moment, but it felt like eternity.

Nobody immediately spoke and the silence that stretched on was both infuriating and daunting.

Finally Drew spoke, “we were … obtained… when we got to the bar tonight,” he continued with a recount of what happened.

Suddenly Ryan’s anger, but not his black eye, made sense.

“Where’s Colin?”

Silence met his inquiry.

“Well …” Brad’s voice was hesitant and Wayne noticed the side eye he cast at Ryan’s still form, “we were hoping he was with you,” he offered lamely, “but then they dumped you in here and ….”

“But you know where he is.” Ryan’s voice was cold and cutting. He could see the guild all over Wayne’s face, “what happened?”

Wayne hesitated, “I …”

His hesitation obviously wasn’t going to fly because Ryan jerked at the ropes around his wrists, causing Brad to help with indignation, “What the fuck happened, Wayne?” he lost the loud whisper they had been speaking in and before they could quiet his temper, the bathroom door flung open.

Michael.

He was alone this time, no backups needed when you’re enemy is tied up. He smirked that stupid smirk and glanced around at his captives with mostly disinterest. His gaze finally settled on Wayne, “Oh, I see you are awake.” He walked in slowly, savoring the view. When he finally stopped, he stood at Wayne’s side in perfect view of all and crouched down, “I see my boys handled you well, though-,” a brief expression of surprise passed across his face as he reached out and tilted Wayne’s face to the side with the slightest touch of his finger, exposing the swelling that popped up along his jaw line.

“Fuck off,” Wayne spat at him with as much attitude as he could muster.

Michael didn’t react at first, just smiled and continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “though, this one was not from one my boys.” Michael reached out and flicked the bruise on the side of his face. Wayne grunted and jerked his head away, but his attempt at stoicism failed as he smacked the bleeding gash against the poll he was tied too. He couldn’t bite back the exclamation of pain.

“Leave him alone, ass wipe!” Greg being a smart ass again.

Michael ignored him, his dark eyes still focused on Wayne, “to answer your question, Mr. Stiles,” he spoke to Ryan, but he never looked away from the injured man in front of him, like a predator fixated on injured prey, “My dear sweet brother will be joining us shortly. After his … altercation ….with Mr. Brady he was quite easy to follow and lead here. I’m sure he can’t wait to see you.” He finally looked up and stared straight into Ryan’s face, “he always was fun to play with.” There was something about how he said it that sent a harsh chill through the room. He sent one last smirk around the room, daring them to speak again. When he satisfied that the threat was obvious and silence crept around the room, he rose and exited without another sound – the door clicking and latching with finality.


	9. Unleashed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! I know updates are coming slow, been a busy few months and I don't expect much to change! Thanks everyone who has stuck with this and reviewed/given kudos.  
> I had an anon ask on tumblr why I chose Brad to be part of this story instead of Jeff or Chip. I really like the dynamic Brad provides and I feel like his presence makes more sense because he's the one that eventually goes off to do a duo show with Colin. I love Jeff and Chip and maybe in the future I'll write them in something, but for now it's Brad. :)

Chapter 9  
Unleashed

“Altercation?” The words came out in a harsh whisper and it was the first anyone spoke after Michael made his gloomy departure.

“Yeah.” Wayne didn’t mince words as he had to explain to Colin’s best friend and lover that he pushed him too hard and had a bruise to prove it.

There was a collective exhale as the seriousness of the situation seemed to finally kick in.

“Did he say ‘brother’?” the way Brad asked the question indicate he already knew the answer.

Ryan cleared his throat, “yeah,” he suddenly realized how out of the loop everyone was. They were in this mess and had no idea why, “it’s … it’s complicated. It’s not really my story to tell.”

“Not your story to tell?” Greg asked it, but really snarled it out, “we’ve been kidnapped at fucking gunpoint, Wayne’s probably got a concussion –

_“Why they gotta knock out the only black guy?”_

“ – and we’re literally being used as bate for what? They deserve to fucking know, Stiles.”

Ryan looked torn and rightfully so. They have no idea what they are here and he’s the one holding the answers, “Michael is Colin’s biological brother.”

“We gathered that much.”

“He’s a psychopath. He’s tried to kill Colin before.”

“Why?”

Ryan sighed again trying to decide how to summarize a lifelong of torment for his best friend, “He ….,” he paused, studying intent and impatient faces. He felt like with every word he was betraying Colin’s trust, “he killed their dad.” He finally spat it, knowing if he delayed any longer he would back out, “when Colin was 10. Michael was 17. Shot him and grabbed Colin and took off.” He left it at that, hoping they could fill in the blanks.

“Shit ….” The heavy silence got heavier.

“So are we just gonna sit here?” Ryan appreciated Greg’s attempt to change the subject, rescuing him from his betrayal, “I’m not really looking forward to another visit from Dr. Doom.”

“Do you think there is a fire escape out that window?” Drew nodded towards the frosted window that sat above the bathtub.

“Even if there is, we are all pretty tied up.” He snorted at his own pun while he shook his hands roughly against the toilet.

Drew pursed his lips in thought, “hey, Wayne,” he kicked Wayne’s foot, their only means of contact.

Wayne started to alertness, his head was getting fuzzy with pain and he was fading.

“How far out can you stretch your arms back behind you? You’re pretty flexible.”

Wayne grunted and stretched his arms out behind him, forcing himself to bend forward. He made it a foot or so before his shoulders couldn’t rotate any further.

Drew _hmmed_ in thought, “Brad, do you think you can reach Wayne’s hands? Maybe you can untie him?”

It took a little finagling, lots of cursing, help from Ryan’s bare feet (“your toes are as long as fingers!” “thanks, Greg.”) and suddenly one of Wayne’s hands was free of rope, the other soon to follow.

Wayne was panting with the effort, the dark spots dancing in front of his eyes threatening to overtake him. It took him a few minutes of crawling to get to Ryan and Brad and then soon they were untied as well.

It was as Brad was untying Greg and Drew that he voiced the nagging thought that everyone was thinking, “seemed a bit too easy, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, oh well, let’s go.” Greg countered as he got to his feet rubbing his raw wrists.

“Does seem a bit set up, doesn’t it,” Ryan muttered more to himself than anyone else as he investigated the window, “we need to break this somehow.”

The group silently surveyed the bathroom, looking for anything heavy enough to break the window. Drew always the voice of reason, “how are we going to do this quietly?”

“The bathroom door locks, we should lock it. Tie a rope around the handle or something.” Greg started doing it as he was making the suggestion. At the same time Ryan lifted the lid off the toilet, “it’s about the best thing we’ve got.”

“Let’s get to it.”

……WliiA?......

_Thump_

It was the sound that finally compelled him into action. The room was dark and Colin took a moment to fumble for the light switch. The lights revealed a walkway that led him to a small kitchen and living space. Both rooms were empty and eerily silent.

_Thump_

Colin jumped, spinning around to find the source of the sound, reaching for any sort of weapon that he didn’t have.

_Thump_

The source was through a closed door. A bedroom, he assumed, and upon investigating found he was correct. The room was also empty. A wave of paranoia and fear washed over him.

_Thump_

His head snapped up, eyes fixating on another closed door. The sound was louder.

_Thump_

Colin moved silently toward it, eyes constantly scanning his surroundings. It felt like a trap. He did his best to control his breathing. It sounded loud and ragged in the silent atmosphere. He gingerly pressed his ear to the door, cursing himself for rushing in, kicking himself for having no way to protect himself, all while keeping an eye on the open bedroom door behind him.

He couldn’t hear much through the door, muffled whispers and rustling.

_Thump_

He jerked his head away in surprise. Something was definitely being hit ( _hopefully not someone_ , he though darkly). He leaned in again, softly putting his hand on the knob, doing his best to be as silent as possible. The element of surprise might be the only thing that would save him.

Colin took a steadying breath, tightened a grip on the door knob, turned and pushed. His shoulder thudded roughly into the wood door and he bounced backwards with a grunt. He immediately cursed at himself under his breath, of course the door would be fucking locked, idiot.

The sounds on the other side of the door ceased.

……WliiA?......

“Maybe it’s housekeeping?” Brad offered lamely.

The look Greg gave him over his glasses made Ryan snort.

“Yeah, or its Dr. Doom and his Doombots coming back for more. I’d rather not find out.” Greg leaned against the door, “just in case.”

_Knock._

Everyone stilled, not daring to breath.

“I’m pretty sure an evil villain wouldn’t knock first, Greg,” Brad hissed at him from where he stood in the bathtub next to Ryan.

_Knock_

“What do we do?”

Ryan put the toilet lid down with a heavy thud, “I’ve made no progress on this window, but I bet this would make a pretty good weapon if I need to hit someone.”

“Wayne’s fading fast, we need to get him to a hospital.” Drew was sitting next to Wayne who was slumped over, sitting on the toilet seat.

Greg sighed, obviously not liking the direction this conversation was going, but realizing he was outnumbered. He turned towards the door and started untying the rope that he had looped around the knob and then tied to anything in the room that looked solid. With one last sigh, he motioned Ryan, indicating he should stand at the ready to hit whoever came through the door. Greg looked at Ryan who nodded. Greg squared his shoulders grabbed the door knob and in one motion unlocked it and pulled it open.

……WLiiA……

If he wasn’t so relieved and if the situation wasn’t so dangerous, Colin would have laughed. Nothing could have prepared him for the image of Greg standing wide-eyed, hands up in a fighting position, in front of a talk, frazzled looking Ryan who was wielding a … toilet seat … ready to crash it down on his head, he guessed.

A quick survey showed Brad standing in the bathtub, Drew crouched next to a half-passed out Wayne. He half-expected them to erupt in noise from shock. He put his finger to his lips, silencing any sounds of exclamation, still worried that Micheal would make his grand entrance at any moment. Colin entered the room silently, barely sparring Ryan and Greg a glance, trying to ignore their surprised faces. He walked right up to Wayne and crouched down in front of him. His sudden appearance seemed to startle Wayne out of his pain-induced fog. Wayne reached out and grabbed Colin by the shoulders, practically falling into him, “Colin!” it wasn’t said in a whisper, “you’re okay!” then he did fall into him. Colin had just enough time to kneel and catch him, eyes widening in surprise.

“He needs a doctor.” Drew whispered, “I think he has a concussion.”

Colin nodded over Wayne’s shoulder, realizing the younger man was half-conscious as he hung on to Colin for support. He managed to get him to his feet, before looking around at the rest of the silent cast, “is everyone else okay? Ryan?” He hated how rough his voice sounded, raw with emotion and relief.

“I didn’t know when to keep my mouth shut,” Ryan quipped motioning to the black eye.

Colin just nodded, “we need to get out of here.”

“We need to call the cops.” Greg said it with finality and Colin froze, realizing the precarious position he was now in. He almost looked ready to deny it, claim they wouldn’t help, that it was too dangerous. But then he saw the fear in their eyes, he could feel the blood from Wayne’s wound smeared on his shoulder. And the guilt that building in the pit of his stomach was gnawing at him, compelling him to act.

Colin nodded grimly, surprising himself by the strength he found in his voice “yeah, we do.”


	10. Rescued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been six weeks - I'm the worst. No excuses.   
> So this chapter is ... weird .... it's basically a fall out of everything that's happened/set up for everything that is going to happen next. The style is a little different, a little quicker paced, shorter scenes, but more scenes, so bear with it.   
> Also - just fyi. I did some research on legal proceedings, etc, but I'm mostly making shit up. So ... yeah ... #writersfrustrations 
> 
> Also, I don't speak french, not even a little bid, so thanks Google Translate for the terrible translations. :)

Chapter 10: Rescued

Colin didn’t speak again until they all made it into the main room, and that’s as far as they went. Even with Greg and Brad supporting Wayne, he couldn’t make it any farther. Pain and dizziness overtaking him with every movement. He made it to a wall, where with help, he managed to slide down and slump forward with a groan.

“Are you ready to trust us know?” It came out with more bite than Wayne thought he could manage, evidence by the flinch barely noticeable on Colin’s face. Wayne only felt bad for a second.

“Yeah, I guess you deserve that much.”

“Ya think?” he practically spat out at him.

“Hey. I warned you not to get involved. I gave you an out.” Colin was standing in front of the door, an angry, heartbreaking, fearful expression on his face. For being the only one that wasn't kidnapped today, he probably looked the most stressed.

Wayne didn’t respond to Colin's remark, partly too weak, but partly because it was true. He wasn’t really looking for a way out, his head just hurt. Colin looked around at the confused and frightened faces, but didn’t offer any further of an explanation. Instead he turned to the front door and locked the deadbolt with a heavy sigh. He spared Ryan a brief glance and saw nothing but sadness. No support from that corner then …

He walked over to the phone and paused, his hands shaking, stomach tightening with anxiety.

“Why the hold up?” Greg did his best to keep his tone even.

Colin clenched his jaw and shook his head in defiance, afraid that if he opened his mouth now all his fear and anxiety would come spilling out. He lifted the phone to his ear and hesitated again, his hand lingering over the buttons.

“Colin …” and suddenly Ryan was behind him, a comforting had on his shoulder.

Brown eyes met green and Ryan gave him a convincing nod, “this is different from last time, please.”

That was the reassurance he needed, it prompted him to action as he nodded and turned back to the phone. The call was short and concise, giving vague details and urging medical presence for a now half-conscious Wayne. When he hung up, he turned back towards the group and was met with worried eyes and tired faces and a lingering sense of fear.

“Should we leave? What if he comes back?” Brad was sitting on the floor next to Wayne, sweaty palms clenched in front of him.

“He won’t be back. This was just a set up.”

“A set up for what exactly, Colin? You’ve been delightfully unhelpful it terms of explanations.” The words were harsh and accusatory. Colin turned those big, sad brown eyes towards Greg and Greg instantly felt bad, but didn’t back down, “well? We didn’t all just get kidnapped at gunpoint for nothing, then?”

“Knock it off, Greg,” Ryan growled at him, “he’s just as scared as we are.”

“He wasn’t the one held at gun point!”

“Maybe not this time!”

“Ryan stop,” Colin could feel the tensions were high. Greg was scared. Ryan was scared and defensive. Hell, he was scared too, “it was set up for me,” he finally offered, then paused, “look … uh … this is a long story and you guys deserve the truth, but please, not now.”

No one could deny the desperate pleading in his voice.

In the distance Colin could hear the sirens getting closer, “so much for a quiet exit,” he muttered.

The rest of the evening went in a blur. Police officers came in guns drawn to find 6 middle-aged men looking warn and frightened in the sitting room of a hotel suite. Wayne was immediately whisked away in an ambulance with the other soon to follow “for observation.” The only one left behind and seemingly uninjured was Colin. Sitting alone in the back of an ambulance with a detective next to him, one who seemed to recognize him, but he still suddenly felt abandoned and hopeless.

His statement was brief, “I … don’t know where to start.” He offered the detective lamely. She seemed kind, but well-seasoned. Her black curls were streaked with gray, and her eyes were heavy under a constantly furrowed brow.

“It seems you were lucky to find your friends, how did you know where to go?”

“It’s quite a long story, actually.” He said it with a laugh that held no humor, “and I’d rather not talk about it here.” Detective Marissa Rotondo looked around the hotel entrance. The round-about for valet drop off and taxis was filled with cop cars and the ambulance that Colin was sitting in the back of, but in the distance she could see quite a crowd gathering. The last thing she needed was a news story blowing up about the kidnap and rescue of the Whose Line cast.

“Well, how about this,” Detective Rotondo climbed into the back of the ambulance with Colin, “come sit up here, let me make a few calls.” He pulled himself all the way into the ambulance and she slammed the doors, closing them in. He tracked her movement with unease and she went up to whisper to the driver and then pulled out her radio.

He listened to half a conversation, still not quite sure what was happening until she looked at him and smiled, clipping the radio back to her belt, “well, luckily for you, it’s LA and we deal with celebrities all the time –,” she held up her hand to silence the protest that was on his lips about being called a celebrity, “and I know where your friends are headed, so why don’t we just go there. They are being kept on a secure, private floor and we can talk, deal?”

He didn’t answer, just stared at her with tired, un-trusting eyes.

“I don’t know what’s going on, Mr. Mochrie, but I’ve gathered it’s nothing good, and the last thing you and your friends need is this turning into a public affair, right?” when he still didn’t speak she moved closer to him and placed a reassuring hand on his knee, “you can trust me.”

Colin clenched his jaw wanting so much to believe her, but instead of speaking, he just nodded. He didn’t move again until the ambulance lurched into motions, startled he let out a small gasp, “sorry,” he muttered at her, “I just haven’t had a good experience with law enforcement when it comes to my brother.”

“So he’s your brother then? The man that did this?”

Colin nodded mutely.

Detective Calen cleared her throat, “would his name happen to be Michael Macleod?”

Colin looked up sharply from where he had been studying the bruises on the back of his knuckles, “how did you know that?” the suspicion and distrust had returned to those dark eyes.

“I received a call from a CSIS agent a week ago, a Cosette Mochrie – the look on your face says you are related?”

“Cosette is my sister – my adopted sister. I’m adopted.”

Detective Calen nodded, “well CSIS – I had to look up what that was by the way – seems to have a Michael Macleod flagged as a dangerous criminal, and they seemed to think he has been in this country illegally for quite some time and that you are his target.”

The guilt was written all over Colin’s face.

“When did you first see him?”

“Three weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you contact the police then?”

“Like I said, I haven’t had great luck when it comes to law enforcement and Michael.”

The detective nodded, “I see.” Was all she said, “well, you will be happy to know that Ms. Mochrie is waiting for us at the hospital, she will hopefully be reading me into this case and you will be able to give a full statement then.”

“Cosette is here?”

“It is my understanding that she’s been in LA for the last 48 hours, you didn’t know?”

“No.” Colin shook his head, this was all happening too fast. Too many people were getting involved. He was setting everyone up to be in danger. He rested his face in his hands, letting out a deep sigh, “this isn’t right, this is too dangerous.”

Stacey smiled sadly, but didn’t speak. There was nothing she could say that would comfort him.

……WLiiA?......

The private floor the detective spoke of was quiet and mostly empty. He could immediately pick out which room his friends were in based on the armed police officers that stood outside their doors. The closest guard nodded at Marissa, an annoyed expression on his face, “is this the last of them?”

Marissa nodded, “this is Colin Mochrie, our primary witness,” she looked around the tall guard into the room that he was guarding, “where is your witness, Jacobs?”

He sighed, his expression twisting into displeasure, “They were putting up such a fuss about being separated that we eventually just let them be in the same rooms. I was tired of fighting them,” he nodded down the hall, “talk to Officer Lopez, he seems to be having a great old time down there.”

Down the hall the apparent “Officer Lopez” was standing in the doorway of a room laughing about something, Colin could only imagine what, or who, the cause was.

“Thank you, Officer,” Colin tried to smile at the officer in front of him, but he just couldn’t make it happen. Jacobs didn’t seem too put out, but nodded dutifully back at him.

“I’m a big fan, Mr. Mochrie, glad to see you are safe."

When the detective and Colin made it to the room in question, Officer Lopez turned towards them with a toothy grin, “man, if they need a protection detail, I volunteer!” he laughed, before hastily adding, “ma’am.” And nodded at his boss.

Colin poked his head in the room, afraid of what reaction he would get. He shook his head in disbelief. Wayne was hooked up to an IV, in full hospital gown, looking half-stoned. On the edge of his bed sat Greg, Brad and Drew who seemed to be having a grand time messing with their drugged out friend.

Ryan, looking much more somber and worried, sat on the bed across the way, studying the floor and exchanging worried words with –

“Cosette,” the name was out of his mouth and he was moving before anyone even realized he was there. The women in question met him in the middle of the room, eyes wide in surprise, arms even wider as she enveloped her older brother in a fierce hug. They stayed like that for a brief moment before Colin disconnected and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, “you’ve been in L.A. for 2 days and didn’t tell me, how did you know to come?”

Cosette face read guilt and the smallest flick of her blue eyes in Ryan’s direction gave the secrete away, “don’t’ be mad at him, I told him to keep me updated since you certainly weren’t going to.” Her words were slightly accented, French Canadian, but fierce and angry.

“This is getting out of control, Cosette, you shouldn’t be here.”

_“Excusez-moi, Colin, la dernière fois que j'ai vérifié, je suis l'agent fédéral formé. Vous devriez m'avoir dit que Michael vous a menacé.”_ (Excuse me, Colin, last I checked, I’m the trained federal agent. You should have told me Michael threatened you.)

Colin huffed at her, _“Vous savez ce qui s'est passé la dernière fois, je ne pouvais pas vous impliquer. JE –.”_ (You know what happened last time, I couldn't get you involved. I -). His accent was harsher than hers, more American, but his fluency was apparent.

He was cut off by a very distinct and loud clearing throat. He pulled away from his sister, not without giving her another disapproving glare.

“This seems like a touching family reunion, but I’m afraid there is business to attend to. Mr. Mochrie, Agent Mochrie, if you could follow me please.”

“Wait, what about us?” Greg piped up. Detective Rotondo looked between Colin and his friends, “your presence is not needed or requested at this time. An armed guard will be posted outside of your door until your statements are collected. What Mr. Mochrie chooses to share with you beyond that is up to him.” She turned and walked out the door, Cosette following behind, leaving Colin to face his costars alone once again.

“Look, guys -,”

“Don’t shut us out, man, please,” it was the drugged up Wayne that spoke first.

“I won’t, you’re right, just, let me do this.”

His words were met with silence and he could see disappointment and almost resentment in their faces. The worse was the look of betrayal he could see building in Ryan’s eyes, “I won’t shut you out.” He directed it to the group, but his eyes never left Ryan’s face. Pleading him to believe him.

Ryan nodded, “okay.”

“Okay.” Colin echoed before turning and leaving.

It had the makings of being a long night.

……WLiiA?......

It didn’t take long for the detectives to trickle in and steer them back to their rooms, one by one, to take their statements. By the time everything was done, the time was approaching midnight and the day’s events seemed to finally catch up to everyone. The whole thing seemed very surreal, so fast, so unusual. Ryan closed his eyes as he laid back in the hospital bed still in his street clothes. (He adamantly denied the hospital gown). He was drained. He turned his head to the empty bed across the room. He imagined Colin sitting there, that sad, defeated look on his face. He could hear the argument on his lips, “it’s too dangerous, we shouldn’t have gotten the police involved, this is getting out of control.”

“This is out of control,” Ryan muttered, closing his eyes, “this needs to end.”

“Talking to yourself? That’s never a good sign.” Ryan whipped his head towards the doorway, imaginary Colin was no longer sitting on the bed. Real Colin was standing just a few feet away, that same sad look on his face. He took a step inside, softly closing the door behind him as Ryan sat up in bed, no longer exhausted, just worried.

“How’d it go?”

Colin shrugged, “Cosette did most of the talking.”

Ryan nodded mutely.

Colin hovered awkwardly then, not looking directly at Ryan, just letting brown eyes drift across the room with unease, “sorry you got sucked into all this again.”

Ryan shrugged, moving over to one side of the bed, he patted the now vacated spot, “come here.”

Colin didn’t need to be told twice. He soon found himself wrapped up in the taller mans arms, head tucked under Ryan’s chin, eyes closed, allowing himself a true moment of relief and relaxation.

“What do I tell the guys?” he finally muttered.

Ryan rubbed Colin’s back in soft, slow circles, “the truth.” He could feel Colin nod, but no one spoke again. Just enjoying a moment of peace and togetherness. Ryan paused, “I’ll be right by your side to support you.” When Colin didn’t immediately answer, Ryan started absentmindedly rubbing his back, in a soothing motion, though who he was trying to soothe he wasn’t sure, “I love you, Colin,” he muttered softly against Colin’s ear.

No answer.

“Colin?” Ryan shifted and looked down and immediately smiled.

Colin was already asleep.

……WLiiA?......

Ryan woke up slowly to whispering.

“Do you think we should wake them?” Ryan practically groaned at the tease in Greg’s voice.

“Uh-uh, last time I tried to wake Colin up he nearly knocked me out,” that was definitely Wayne, obviously feeling better.

“Do we have to? Look how cute they are.”

Ryan opened his eyes in time to see Brad nudge Drew, a mischievous glint in his eye, “we should take a picture.”

“Don’t you fucking dare, Sherwood,” they all started at Ryan’s sudden voice and movement, including Colin. He would have shot out of bed at the sudden commotion if Ryan hadn’t been there, holding a shoulder down, reassuringly, “Relax, Col, it’s just us.”

Colin swung his legs over the side of the bed, surveying the group of people around him, a completely unreadable expression on his face, “good morning,” he finally said.

Everyone seemed to accept that as a reasonable way to start the morning because there was a muttering of “good mornings” in response. An awkward silence was about to fall when a soft knock on the door saved them all, “Good morning,” Cosette echoed the previous words spoken. She smiled, lighting up the whole room, “glad to see everyone is awake, though I’m sure you aren’t supposed to be out of your rooms.”

There was a round of shrugs.

“Colin,” Colin met his sisters eyes, “have a minute? I know you just woke up.”

Colin just nodded and left the room, expecting his sister to follow, with no further words spoken to his group of friends.

Ryan closed his eyes in frustration as the Mochrie’s left.

“So,” Wayne sat down on the bed, “what the fuck is going on, Ryan?” Wayne had changed back into his normal clothes, and Ryan could see the bandage on his arm and hand where the IV had been removed. How late in morning was it? He found the clock on the wall and squinted up at it, grumbling at himself that he didn't have his glasses. When the numbers finally came into focus, he was relieved to find it was already approaching 10 in the morning. It was probably the most sleep Colin had had in weeks.

“Yeah, Stiles, aren’t we supposed to be getting the run down on why we were being held hostage?” Greg sat down too, wedging himself between Ryan and Wayne.

“Colin will tell us.”

“Will he though? He’s been doing a great job at running away from us, actually.” Brad crossed his arms, sitting in the chair across from the bed.

Drew took the other chair with a sigh. His butt barely hit the cushion when the center of their conversation came bursting back into the room. Colin looked pissed and he was looking right at him, “Are you insane, Drew?” he practically spat the words at him, cheeks flushed, jaw clenched. Behind him a frustrated Cosette followed him into the rooms, “are you trying to get yourself killed?”

"Colin ..." Cosette's tone was meant to be soothing, but it did nothing to calm her brother's obvious irritation.

Drew at least looked guilty, but no one knew what they were exactly talking about.

“Care to share what’s got you ready to rip Drew’s head off?”

Colin shot Brad a look, but didn’t say anything, instead settling for pressing his lips together in frustration.

“Mr. Carey,” Cosette placed a gentle, but firm hand on Colin’s shoulder, pulling him back, stilling his annoyance. She slowly set the briefcase she was carrying on the ground and straightened herself with care, drawing out the pause in her words. It was a tactic, Ryan recognized, forcing everyone's attention on her, _clever lady_ , “Mr. Carey has kindly offered us the use of his home as a safe house, until we can get this all sorted out.”

“Cool! Sleepover at Drew’s place, then?” Greg snorted, “what’s the big deal?”

“Colin seems to think that is will put Drew in more danger.”

“It will. It’s insane.” Colin turned sharply back towards Cosette, “Aucun d'eux ne devrait être impliqué, il me veut.”(None of them should be involved, he wants me.)

Cosette didn’t suffer his attitude and instead ignored him completely, “You will all of course be requested to stay within the confines of Mr. Carey’s house, under the protection of the LAPD and the CSIS, until Michael Mecloid can be obtained.” Colin snorted with annoyance and instead of arguing, turned and left. Cosette continued on as if she didn’t notice, “We appreciate any and all cooperation, but of course you are under no obligation to accept our protection.” She cleared her throat, “I don’t mean to be so formal,” her tone changed, becoming gentler, “Michael is … dangerous … Colin seems to think that anyone close to him is in danger, which you are, there is no denying that. This is a … sensitive time … for Colin and I know he’s your friend, but please don’t push him too hard. He’ll come around.”

The group exchanged looks, but instead of acknowledging her plea, Drew simply asked, “so what’s next?”

Cosette smiled, recognizing the determination in their faces, "well," she lifted her briefcase that she had sitting at her feet, "paperwork."


End file.
